It's a jungle in here!

Insanely white teeth!

2011-08-27T20:59:00.000-04:00

What is it with celebrities going crazy with the teeth whitening? I was watching an awards show and what caught my eye the most was all the over bleached teeth. It doesn't look good, heck it doesn't look natural at all. It made me think of the Friends episode where Ross whitened his teeth to impress a first date but left the solution on longer than instructed and ended up with insanely white teeth that glowed under a black light. Who remembers that one? A classic.

I think having clean teeth shows the world that you care about your appearance and practice at least basic dental hygiene but having teeth that glow in the dark is taking it overboard. Just a teensy bit. I would think someone in their inner circle would mention how fake it looks. Another reason I'm glad I'm not famous. I don't have 'yes people'. If I had a see-from-space smile I know someone would tell me how ridiculous I look.


Who has a black light in 1999?!

I love that I haven't blogged in months and this topic is what makes me dust off the cobwebs and my laptop. I have no life.

Day 6 - A picture of something that makes you happy

2011-05-23T19:23:00.000-04:00

"I love daisies. They're so friendly. Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?" -Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

Day 5 - Siblings. Or home grown best friends.

2011-05-19T14:55:00.004-04:00

I was raised in a blended family. It was a 'yours, mine and ours' situation. My siblings and I have gone through a lot together. Growing up, we put the fun in dysfunctional. We moved around A LOT as kids and sometimes the only friends we had were each other. Our parents worked graveyard for a good chunk of our childhood and we used to sneak out of the house to go to 7-11 in our pajamas, watch rated R movies (Dirty Dancing and Stand by Me!) and search for Christmas present hiding spots. I'm close with all of my sisters and brother, some closer than others, but that's normal right?

These are my siblings in age order.

Stace, aka Tia, aka Teesie

She and I spent our summers together playing taxi with our paddle boat for hours at a time, paddling back and forth, back and forth from one dock to the another, making seaweed salads, and eating way too much junk food. During our teenage years she would cover for me when I got into...mischief. She is a rockstar single Mom, raising two kids, working part time and going to school full time. She was my labor coach during childbirth, (except for a brief moment when she was kicked out of the room by a nurse). She's now going to school to be a Doula, I like to think I trained her for the role. I'm also glad I got to use her services for free.

Jimmy

My only brother. We were close growing up, he was very protective of his sisters. He was my little brother until I was about 15, then he shot up in height and I decided I better be nice to him. He always took longer than I did to get ready in the mornings, his hair had to be perfect. I wonder if he's still like that? I have 2 sons now and when they do something that I find weird or something only boys do, I find myself thinking back to my childhood and I'll ask myself 'Did my brother used to do that? Is this normal?'.
He's a proud Daddy and just recently had a baby boy whom I haven't met yet. I can't wait to go back home for my sister's wedding so I can meet my newest nephew!

Lin

Lin is 7 years younger than me. She's (in my mind anyway) the ultimate in coolness. She's chic, fashionable, beautiful with a shaved head, tattooed, funny, a solid rock in any crisis and one of the hardest workers I've ever met. She's basically everything I want to be when I grow up. She has Sbux running through her veins, she's a fellow Star Wars nerd, and has brilliant ideas floating around in her petite little head that one day will make a big difference in our world.

Chelsey aka Bug

I could probably let the photos speak for themselves with this one. Take a moment to look through them, she's a goon. I was 12 when she was born. The story goes that my mom had to steal her from me to be able to feed her. I was a little Mama to her. She's funny and wacky, and beautiful and I'm about to be the matron-of-honor in her WEDDING! It's hard to believe that she's getting married. Sometimes I still see her as a 3 year old twirling in her frilly dress, wearing lace gloves and cowgirl boots.

Kesha

The youngest. She's 18 and getting ready to leave for boot camp this summer. She's a talented chef and a proud Tia to all her nieces and nephews. She was only 3 when my oldest daughter was born so they grew up together and are very close.

My husband and I and our kids moved across the country almost a year ago and away from everything familiar, all our friends and both sides of our family. While I learned the valuable lesson that my immediate family includes my husband and kids and they are my priority, not being able to see my sisters almost daily has been the hardest thing to deal with. We all lived close in proximity and many times per week, one of us would drop by the others home or meet for lunch or coffee. With my oldest sister being a single parent and myself being a technical single parent because of my husbands job, we could almost always count on each other or another sister to lend a hand or step in and drive a kid to an appointment or event. It's been really hard to not have that support system anymore.

These days I am so thankful for Skype and Facebook.

If you live close to your family be thankful and give your sibling a hug today.

Dreaming of The Huxtables

2011-05-17T18:32:00.000-04:00

I've gotten behind on my blog challenge. That's because life sucks lately and I'm overwhelmed. Feel sorry for me, please.

Day 4- Your parents. Don't we all wish we had different parents then the ones we actually have? I did. At least as a kid I did. I'm cool with them now.

Here is a picture of the parents I wanted to raise me:

Aren't they just too cute?

I wanted these parents too:

Don't we all love them?

These parents are closer to the truth:

That's them!

Ok, I'm done.

Here they are for real.

My Dad!

He lives in Michigan.
He's a proud Papa.
He's a practical joker and proud of it. Nobody is safe.
We share a love of Nascar. Well mine is more of a 'like'.
He has an evil cackle laugh, I inherited it.
I blame him for my NCIS addiction.
I'm pretty sure he would do anything for my sister or I, "his girls".

My mom!

She lives in Florida.
She fulfilled a lifelong dream and became a flight attendant at 50. She never wants to retire.
She answers to Ma, Mama, Mom, Grandmaw, Grandmubber, Grandma and Ammaw.
She has the most recognizable laugh you'll ever hear. It was so embarrassing as a kid.
She likes to steal things from construction sites.
She's dances in grocery store aisles.
Finally after getting some space between us, we are friends.

My Dad!

He lives in Heaven.
He loved being a Grandpa.
He was really good at giving second chances.
Without him I would have failed high school math.
He invited strangers over for Thanksgiving dinner.
He thought Spam was it's own food group.
He was the best listener I've ever known.
He bought groceries for people in need even though we were also in need.

That's them. The 'rents. I love them each so much!

Day 3- Your first love.

2011-05-10T21:36:00.001-04:00

Mr. Huddleston. My first grade teacher, he was my first crush. Being in his classroom allowed me to escape the ugliness that was going on at home. He was the teacher that believed in the scrawny, shy, mute girl and made me believe I was special just because I was me. If I had a picture of him, I'm pretty sure there would be visible stars and hearts floating around his head. *swoon*

Hulk Hogan. I loved everything about him. Still do actually. I'll admit, we had a rough patch while he was doing his Hollywood Hulk Hogan thing, but we're back on solid ground now.

Bobby Joe. My first boyfriend, 6th grade. He was my next door neighbor. I learned to sneak out of the house because of him. His mom hated me.

Bryce Bryce Baby. Too cold, too cold! (Sing it to the Vanilla Ice tune) My jr high crush and high school boyfriend. First boy to buy me a gift, call me on my BS, show genuine emotion towards me. I learned many lessons while 'dating' him. Number one being don't forgo a friendship over a boy. The boy will leave, the girlfriend probably would have stayed.

Beavis. He was a butt-head, that's why we call him Beavis.

Sid the sloth. My first lesson in no matter how much you love him, it's not powerful enough to change him from being a %@*#! jerk. Took many years to find myself again after this one. So many poor souls after him had to deal with my insecurities and fears because of what he made me believe about myself. He beat me down into a pile of nothing and it has taken years and yearsto learn he was wrong.

Taken Mother's Day 2011

My kids. Oh man, my kids. Becoming a mom saved my life. The first time I knew I could love another person unconditionally. Forever and ever. Do I always like everything about them? No. Especially with the teenager trials we are currently dealing with. But I as long as I'm living, nothing can stop my love for them.

Hoss

Hoss. Definitely a first for me. The first time I've learned that love is a choice. A choice to love another person regardless of their response. A daily choice sometimes. The first time I realized just how much power a woman can wield over her husband, it's best to use it for good. The first time I believed a man was worth stepping out on faith for. He's also the first man that fought for me when I did my usual retreat when things get too hard routine. He is my better half, tag team partner, partner in crime, my gentle giant, my hillbilly husband. We have such similar life stories, it's a wonder we were ever attracted to each other. We are opposites in almost every area of life which causes me many headaches. But he will also rub my head when I have a headache even after he worked a 16 hour day.

I love that man sitting on that poor tiny plastic cow.

Day 2 Meaning behind blog name.

2011-05-09T01:35:00.000-04:00

When starting a blog, the experts say to write about something you are an expert on. The only thing I consider myself an expert on is my family. There are other topics that interest me (nutrition, whole foods, thriftiness, cooking), experiences I've lived through (domestic violence, teen pregnancy, adultery, divorce to name just a few) that affect who I am today and why I do things the way I do or react to situations a certain way. I'm actually very hesitantly dipping my toe in the water so to speak and trying to write about some of these other topics. Slowly because it's scary. I feel safer writing about everyday, mundane things like me, myself, and I, my husband, and our kids and the things happen to all of us throughout the years.

It's a jungle in here- pretty self explanatory. My house is loud, chaotic, busy, full. It's nothing new to me. I grew up in a very loud, chaotic, busy, full household.

I remember the first time I visited with my husband and his family before we got married. After we left I asked him if everybody was mad at each other because it was so quiet. It seemed to me like nobody was talking to each other.

The first time he was at one of my family events (God bless him!) he thought the same thing. Was everybody mad at each other? Why is everybody yelling at each other? 'What yelling?' I thought. There was no yelling, we were just conversing. Loudly- it's the only way you will be heard above everyone else.

Our family has definitely taken after my own family dynamic rather than my husbands. Only when everyone is asleep is this house really truly quiet. I don't seem to notice it until we have house guests, or friends over and they may mention it. There is almost always something happening in our home. Some project to be finished, somewhere to be, someone needing something. We have 4 children, and 3 dogs. It's crowded and it's hectic. Because of my husbands job, I carry the majority of the load myself. I'm not complaining (at this precise moment anyway), it's just the way it is. I've been a SAHM since our youngest was born almost 3 years ago. 345-ish days out of the year I wish I was back at work. Being a SAHM is not my calling in life but we have committed to this decision until he starts school full time. I can neither confirm or deny if I have a countdown going for that day.

This is my little slice of the Internet and I get a kick out of being able to express my opinions and beliefs, stories and thoughts. It's not always pretty but it's us!

Get funky. Get fresh.

2011-05-07T12:53:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Tia for sharing this idea. I have been in a writing funk lately, maybe this little challenge will help me breakthrough.

It's a One-a-day list. Seems simple enough.

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you’re afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you’re looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you’ve learned
Day 25-Favorite memory
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

Oh boy, a recent picture. I didn't think this would be so difficult. I've been looking thru my photos for 10 minutes to find one of me. Apparently I am always behind the camera because there are approximately 8000 photos of my kids, dozens of my husband, but only a handful of myself. I should try to fix that.

Taken before attending an event for our oldest daughter.

Next up, 15 interesting facts. Maybe 15 random facts would be more appropriate. I lead a boring life.

1. I have waaay too many purses. Yet as much as I'm trying to simplify my life lately and get rid of unnecessary stuff, my purses always make the cut.

2. I could eat Mexican food all day every day.

3. I am a master of procrastination. The more pressure I feel, the better I work. I love a deadline

4. I love nerdy stuff. Star Wars is high on my list. My oldest daughter is named Anakin for pete's sake.

5. I am the queen of budgeting.

6. I'm afraid of flying. As in shakes-sweats-nauseous-notify the Air Marshall-this lady is acting strangely- afraid!

7. I still have (day)dreams of being either a NASCAR driver or a ballerina.

8. I don't think there is anything natural about marriage. Man and woman living together in harmonious bliss? "That's not natural." It's friggin' hard work! When I hear of another couple divorcing I think "Wimps."

9. My husband is 6'7, I'm 5'1

10. I have huge feet for a short person. Size 9's on this body mean I was robbed of some height.

11. I was a homeless, pregnant, drug using, drug selling teen mom. Certainly not boasting about that. Just an example that you can overcome almost anything and my past does not define me.

12. I make 80's and 90's movies and TV references often. I try to include at least one in everyday conversation.

13. I think I'm funnier than I actually am.

14. I will hijack a Facebook page anytime I see the opportunity. I have no shame.

15. I can quote the movie Steel Magnolias for hours once I get started.

My sisters wrote that list.

I threw in a serious one just to keep it real yo.

Breaking child labor laws and being ok with it.

2011-05-02T01:58:00.002-04:00

I have a ~~insanely~~ large extended family. And thanks to my brother and sister it's still growing! My brother and his fiance, and my sister and her fiance. Not my brother and sister. Phew! That was a close one,. I like to send at least a card for birthdays and anniversary's and other important life events. In May there are 9 birthdays or anniversary's that I want to acknowledge. I'm not even talking great aunts, or 3rd cousins or old neighbors. Just 2 of my sisters, 1 niece, 1 nephew, Mother's Day, my in-laws anniversary, my mil's birthday. Is that 9? I may be forgetting somebody.

My husband recently changed positions at work which resulted in a hefty hefty hefty pay cut. It was his choice and a good one for our family but the new paycheck numbers are taking some... getting used to. We're not destitute in any way, just trying really hard to re-think our priorities and needs vs. wants. I used to live off less than $12K/year so I know how to get creative and stretch a buck.

We also live The Dave Ramsey lifestyle which means we make a budget for each and every month which accounts for each and every ~~cent~~ dollar that comes in and goes out. We don't use credit cards and we save up and pay cash for things we want. We also follow the 7 baby steps- wait, nevermind- I'm saving all this for another post. Back to my awesome story about child labor.

In an attempt to quit spending so much on greeting cards but still being able to send something so my friends and family know I am thinking about them, I've begun asking my 11 year old to draw pictures I can use as cards. He is a gifted artist. He has drawn so many amazing pictures, sometimes if I didn't watch him draw them I would accuse him of tracing or copying.

I thought this was a brilliant idea because:

1. He really is that good. When he's famous, these cards will be really valuable.

2. He is always drawing anyway. Why not doodle on this piece of paper that I've folded to conveniently fit in a regular stamp sized envelope?

3. It's a lesson on being thrifty combined with a lesson on thinking of others.

Totally a win-win.

At first he was very excited and put lots of effort into making each card special for the intended recipient. Apparently his talent is something he can turn on and off because tonight I asked if he would mind drawing a "few" more for this month. He grudgingly agreed and then proceeded to draw a picture that a blind-folded, drunk, handcuffed chimpanzee (or me) could have drawn. I think my son is trying to tell me he's done churning out cards for me! I even offered to do his dish chore tonight in exchange for just one more card. He started whining and complaining, then made up some excuse that his hand was cramping. Today's youth, they just don't have a good work ethic.

What do you think?
Give him more food and water breaks?
Just scan some of his old work? Is that a copyright issue?
Offer to pay him for his services?
A recent example of his work:

Seriously. It's not just because I'm his Mama. He's gifted.

Stuff that went in my belly this week.

2011-04-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

Based on the pictures I took this week it would appear I don't eat breakfast. I do but my brain is in an I don't do mornings fog until about 2 every afternoon so I'm just not thinking clearly enough to remember to take pictures. Just know there is a mug of Good Earth tea and a Greek yogurt being had almost every morning.

About 27 avocados. I was seriously craving them this week.

Zucchini

Which was turned into Panko breaded baked zucchini sticks.

My husband liked the breaded zucchini but did mention more than once that it wasn't crispy enough, which is Hoss speak for "These should be fried."


A made by my husband green pepper omelet with avocado and hot sauce.

This was so good and I was so hungry that the omelet was half gone before I took a picture.

Tall Tai Chi latte.

Green peppers, black beans, corn sauté

Which was made into a ground turkey, quinoa casserole again topped with avocado.

Yet again I ate ~~both my servings~~ so fast there was no time for a picture. This is a picture of my daughters bowl.


Homemade not quite my Grandma Juanita's but still good tortillas.

These 2 good looking fellas helped make the tortillas.

Flauta, black beans, rice with homemade soy free soy sauce.

Nothing spectacular this week. Besides the one Sbux my husband brought home for me, I drank only water. It's clean, it's cold, now that's what I call high quality H2O! (name that movie)

Even though all her food looks like art and my camera won't even focus lately, I'm sending this post over to

To friend or not to friend?

2011-04-02T23:11:00.000-04:00

I received a Facebook friend request from someone I went to high school with. Why on earth would this chica request me as a friend? She hated me. For no good reason either, simply because we liked the same boy. We all know boys can be what it's all about during the high school years. So now I'm left with the question, do I accept the friend request or not? I solve many of life's dilemas with a good old pros and cons list. Join me won't you?

Pros to being a FB friend with mean little chica from high school:
1. Forgiveness. I didn't know there was anything to forgive until the second I saw her name on my computer screen. I was instantly taken back to 9th grade and remembered how mean she was. Not just to me, just mean in general. Now that I've lived a few years in the real world I realize she was most likely unhappy and being mean to others is how she dealt with it.

2. Selfish vindication. She always made fun of me for being too skinny. I had knobby knees, no hips, skinny legs, and big feet. Little did she know I was dealing with an eating disorder to cope with my own messed up life. Obviously I've conquered that issue. I've got some great big Mexican birthing hips now, knees no longer knobby and my legs are one of my favorite features. Big feet, yeah I still have those. With my size 9's I should be 6 feet tall. Being the immature human that I am though, I want to see pictures of what she looks like today. Maybe she's bald. Or didn't age well. Or was finally knocked out by someone, lost 3 teeth in the fight and never got around to fixing them. I know, I'm horrible. I almost didn't type that paragraph, but then figured God already knows I thought it, may as well share it with others.

3. Second chances. I'm all about them. Maybe she left all that nastiness behind on graduation day.

Cons to being FB friends with mean little chica from high school:

1. I try to practice what I preach. I tell my daughter not to friend everyone she's ever said 'hi' to. She doesn't listen to me, but still I preach it. She has over 300 FB friends, she hardly knows some of them. I think it's all about the numbers to her. She'll learn. I try to only FB friends with people I know in real life, people I would want to hang out with, people I do hang out with, people I don't mind knowing how my twisted little mind works. People I like. People who know me but love me anyway. People I have dirt on.

2.*Gasp* What if she only wants to be friends with me to see if I am bald? If I am not aging well? If I'm missing 3 teeth? Oh crap.

3. I don't wanna.

4. You can't make me.

Well that settles it. The cons outweigh the pros. Decision made. Mean little chica from high school misses out on my witty and charming little slice of the social network.

Have you ever been in this situation? Did you react more maturely than I did? Do you accept every request you get?

*I was going to include some pics of me in high school but my gosh darn scanner is on the fritz. I swear. This is what I remember looking like though:

Yep, that looks about right.

Dinner- absolute, utter, miserable fail! Almost.

2011-03-30T15:39:00.000-04:00

I had such high hopes for this meal. Healthy, fairly simple, yummy ingredients. I was going to make it earlier in the week but purposely waited for the weekend because my mom who is vegetarian was going to be visiting. I got this recipe and many others from Debbie does Dinner and this is the first one that didn't turn out.

Attempt to make Spicy black bean cakes with Lime cilantro sour cream. The only reason I can think they didn't turn out was because I don't use non-stick skillets. (They are bad news peeps). I use stainless steel and would love love love to get some cast iron. Some day... *taking a moment to stare longingly out the window, day dreaming about my cast iron skillet collection*

Ahem, ok I'm back.

These pics aren't the best. My camera is on the fritz which is good and bad news. Bad because I really like this camera. Good because as soon as it officially dies, I can get a new one!

For the recipe and full ingredient list just visit the link above.

Yellow peppers and onion, cook just until soft.

The recipe called for jalepenos but 2 of my kids can't handle the heat so I used diced green chilies.

Add garlic (lots of it, rowr), green chilies, red pepper flakes.

Then mix with black beans and mash. Season with S&P.

Mix in sweet potatoes, egg and bread crumbs.

Looks a little gross.

Then remove all rings from your fingers and bells from your toes and start forming into patties.

Be sure to make an "ooh, this feels gross" face for the camera.

This is where things went south for me. You're supposed to cook in a skillet until crisp, yummy patties. Mine turned into blackened, warmed piles of grossness looking stuff. I actually gave up and asked my husband to try to salvage them. Then the man that I love lots and lots proceeded to melt about 3 cups of butter in the skillet and finished frying them. That man and I do indeed differ on the definition of healthy eating. His idea is to not supersize his double whopper. Still love love love him. Just feel sorry for his arteries. I digress, again.


Patties failed. Hash type substance success!

This tasted super good, it just wasn't what it was intended to be. I used the leftovers to make breakfast burritos the next morning. All's well that ends well.

Since I want to link up this post to Jen's

I'm also going to show you some other yums I ate this past week.

Fresh mushroom, green pepper omelet with avocado and tomatoes.

So stoked to have found coconut milk yogurt! Not so stoked about the price. I bought just one.

Tres yummy mexican ground turkey quinoa skillet, minus the ground turkey ;)

Hopefully I'll get more pictures of my meals this week so I can link up again next week.

What did you eat this week?

Eww!

2011-03-19T06:50:00.000-04:00

"You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friends nose."

Have you ever heard that saying before? It's so true. Most people abide by that way of thinking. But we like to do things a little differently around these parts. For example:

AnaBanana was lined up and ready to run in her first ever high school track event when an official noticed her nose ring and told her she had to take it out or be disqualified. She tried and couldn't get it out so a friend of hers that was about to run in the same race jumped in and fingers in the nostril and everything, got that sucker out! Then they both kind of looked around like "Now what do we do with it?" Another friend that was standing on the field took it and said he'd hold the nose ring until Ana was done running.

It wasn' t the most appealing thing to witness from the stands and I'm sure the school photographer wasn't rushing to get that shot for the yearbook but it did warm this Mama's heart. I'm twisted that way. I told Ana afterward that I hope she realizes anyone who would do that is a life long friend! Imagine them in 20 years - "Remember the time I picked your nose?! Good times!"

Personally, I question the young boys motive but that's just me. I'm sure he would do that for any of his other guy friends. Right?

Go Ana, GO!

This is the only picture I got of the entire meet. I worked the concession stand and during this race the starting line was right in front of me.

Right after this photo was taken, that cute little blond boy jumped about a foot in the air when the starter gun went off. Heehee.

The girl is crafty like ice is cold.

2011-02-09T16:35:00.000-05:00

She's crafty and she's just my type, she's craft-ayyy. Quick, name that tune!
Of course I'm referring to arts and crafts not exactly what MCA, Adrock and Mike D had in mind in their song.

Anywhoo...

I was attacked by the crafty bug this afternoon. It helped that my mom was in town to fend off the 2 year old from getting into the glitter. She succeeded in doing that but failed by letting him eat 8 or so homemade snicker doodles for dinner. Grandmubbers- gotta love em'.

I am not a crafty person. I found both of these crafts online although I can't remember where.

My 12 year old and I made this first wreath together.

A 'sweet' little wreath.

It's rather one dimensional. Next time I'll use an actual wreath shaped do-hickey as the base. I didn't have one and really wanted to do this tonight so I just traced a plate on cardboard and used that. It'll do.

Piece of spare cardboard.

Traced a regular size dinner plate.

Traced a dirty Tupperware lid that just happened to be on the counter.

We just cut out the circle shape then hot glued sweethearts all around. Take as many breaks as necessary to run your fingers under cold water. Note: hot glue gun is in fact hot.

Then I made these while simultaneously Skyping (haha, spell check wants me to write sky diving) and attempting to keep dogs from eating the fresh from the oven snicker doodle I was balancing on my knee.

Aww, I <3 U too!

Simple wooden letters first painted red.

Then glued together after dog steps on it and breaks it.

Then glue glitter on the letters, glue letters to scrapbook paper and set back in the frame without the glass.

So pretty.

So cute. Dollar store frames + .19 cents on sale scrapbook paper + Walmart clearance letters = cheap crafty fun for Monkemama!

I also made this to keep my shivering, skinny pup warm.

So festive.

Whew! I'm exhausted from all that knitting. Yeah right! Found this sweater in Walmart's clearance section also. You weren't fooled for a minute were ya?

The more weight she loses, the bigger her head looks, which makes her sad puppy dog eyes look even more pathetic. I'm pretty sure she's milking her illness for all it's worth. I'm ok with that.

She started chemo treatments today. Notice the matching pink bandage? Even while fighting cancer a lady still accessorizes.

Here's one more piece of trivia before I leave -

"You have a problem with arts and crafts little man?"

"He's a giant robot. It's a little undignified."

Quick! Name that movie!

Here's a hint:

I've seen this movie approximately 1,573 times. It's Kiwi's favorite.

What I ate today

2011-02-02T17:51:00.004-05:00

This is a really bad day to decide to link up to a food party post. Jennifer at Peas and Crayons is a very healthy eater and such an inspiration. I had already decided to do it though so, oh well. I had a really, horrible, no good, very bad day so my food choices weren't the best. I've not yet conquered the how-to or want-to for that matter when it comes to emotional eating. Or not eating based on emotions. See what I mean?

The day started out ok:

Organic yogurt, organic pumpkin seed, flax granola, a cup of the world's best tea!

Seriously, this tea is so good. I've almost completely weaned myself off coffee. Almost. When I do have a cup I'm at least down to cream, no sugar.

Then the day went south. Way south. You've got to be kidding me-I just got punched in the gut-knock me over with a feather-excuse me? what did you say?-totally and completely blindsided-kind of south.

I took my dog to the vet because she had been rapidly losing weight and then quit eating and drinking all together. She's never been, how shall we say...super active. She's a Boston Terrier and they're known for not doing well in extreme temps. That means when it's hot out she's extra hot and when it's cold, she's extra cold. I think she uses that as an excuse to not exercise more than necessary. She has always been a fan of her beauty sleep but lately had been sleeping all the live long day.

Have a look at the sweet little thing I'm talking about:

Ahh, I could just pinch her!

Back to what I ate. I was so upset after the vet appointment that I didn't eat lunch. I didn't drink water. I simply crawled into a ball on the couch and snuggled with my sick furbaby and let tears and snot fall all over the both of us. Such non-appetizing visuals for a post about food.

Anywho, here's dinner:

Phone picture, not the best.

Nachos. And lots of them. I think I had 3 plates. At least they were fairly healthified nachos. They are made with Tostitos Roasted garlic and black bean chips, shredded chicken boob (haha, thanks Mr. Peas & Crayons), fresh red & orange peppers, fresh tomatoes, black beans, and of course cheese. Instead of sour cream I put a ~~little~~ dollop of Greek yogurt on top. Yum! Also had just plain bagged iceberg salad. No dressing, I used a little lemon juice and hot sauce.

Then I called my husband and told him about the horrible no good very bad day I had and asked him to please bring me home a drink. I needed something strong.

Cherry Pepsi - the heavy stuff.

I had given up soda. Completely. But as soon as I found out my dog has cancer, lymphoma to be exact it was immediately what I craved! I'm so weak. I guess there are worse things I could turn to. Maybe. Soda is so bad. For every part of my body. My dog has cancer and I don't care though. Not today.

There ya go. My first What I Ate today post. It stunk. I'll do better next week. Now let me link up my post to Jennifer's link party and inspire all of her readers with my sad sad day.

I don't need no stinkin' binder!

2011-01-31T21:36:00.001-05:00

I'm very thankful that this new organization challenge is on a weekly basis. I've got mucho going through my mind these days and this way I won't get overwhelmed and can still participate. Yay!
I was a little bummed that the first project was a Home Management Binder. I like the system I have now, it works for me. Or so I thought.

I'd like to enter into evidence exhibit A:

Hmm, I can probably remove the SOLD sticker.

I present to you the front of my fridge. It doesn't usually look this cluttered. I went to bed early Sunday night so my husband took care of Friday Folders. (I know we're not the only ones that wait till Sunday night to look in Friday Folders. Right? Right?!) He or the kids put the lunch menu, Valentines class list, and class schedule all up there. I usually put the papers I need to keep from the kids school on my desk or in my planner that stays in my purse.

So this cluttered mess combined with Toni's post got me thinking maybe I/we could benefit from a binder that keeps everything together in one place. I'll work on it this week. I already know I'll keep the Busy Body calendar I use now (busybodybook.com). I love it. It's made for big families (which I have) and I've used it for a few years now. It has to do lists galore, places to doodle, tear out grocery lists, and up to 6 or7 individual blocks for each family member, depending on which one you order. Right now I have this one:

It's so pretty.

Hearts flutter & angels sing each time I open it. I'm not sure if others hear them or just me.

There are spaces for 5 family members. Right now it works perfectly for my family. My husband and I have a box as do our 3 older kids. Kiwi doesn't need one yet as he doesn't have a busy schedule. His story time dates and rare doctor appointments just go under my listing. I figure by the time he's older and needs his own schedule, our oldest daughter will be moved out of the house and will be keeping track of her own schedule.

Hmmm, suddenly it seems I've ventured into raving about my planner and away from the home management binder. Could it be I'm stalling?

Channeling Tim the Tool Man

2011-01-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

I totally just cleared a clogged drain all by myself using only ingredients from my pantry. The sink in my bathroom has been draining slow for a few weeks and I keep forgetting to mention it to my husband. And, as much as I love him, even if I did mention it to him, it would still be a few more weeks before anything would be done about it. (Love you Hoss!)

Anywhoo...after staring at my own spit and toothpaste funk for one morning too many, I'd had enough. I've seen this done all over blog land before so I figured it couldn't hurt to try. Although, I was still a little....shall we say ~~scared~~ ~~terrified~~ ~~shaking in my boots~~ apprehensive about attempting it. I'm not known for my handy man skills, hence the Tim the Tool Man Taylor reference. I had visions in my head of a big fizzy explosion.

Here's all you need to unclog your drain without using nasty chemicals:


Salt, baking soda and vinegar.

First put a kettle of water on to boil.
While the water is boiling you can pour 1/2 cup each dry baking soda and salt into the drain.

Baking soda going in.

Then follow with 1 cup vinegar.

Vinegar and prayers headed in.

Next hold your breath and pray your sink doesn't explode like your 4th grade build-your-own volcano project. It will bubble and fizz quite a bit.

Plop plop fizz fizz. I'm childish I know.

Then pour the entire kettle of boiling water into the drain and watch it work it's magic.

I think my kettle needs a good cleaning.

Hot! Pour carefully.

You can even see the oogies (very scientific terms used around here) floating up as they are being unclogged.

This worked great! I patted myself on the back and sat down to enjoy a nice cup of hot tea.
Darn it- why did I empty the entire kettle?!? Hindsight and all that. Learn from my mistakes. Pour yourself a cup of tea before unclogging the drain :)

Habit forming

2011-01-27T11:43:00.001-05:00

I got so much done during the last organization challenge I participated in. Seriously, ~~my entire~~ parts of my house look so different I'm still doing double takes as I walk through certain rooms. Our host for the 21 day challenge is now offering a weekly challenge with assignments ranging from cleaning out the garage to de-cluttering the book shelf. Both of those sound fab-u-lous! Fabulous! Fabulooooous!

I'm so glad I stumbled across her blog. I've been keeping up on all the changes I've made, she introduced me to new cleaning products that I love, I've been moving more just because of the organization projects. Seriously, I'm almost to 10,000 steps per day on my pedometer. We even have the same favorite color! Look, her button even matches my blog colors!

I can't wait to get started,

Beans and rice, rice and beans

2011-01-24T13:27:00.000-05:00

I've got to find a way to get our food budget under control. Well, that's not exactly true. That would imply it's out of control and really it's not. I just know I can spend less and still feed my family healthy, quality food. The less I spend is that much more we can throw towards our last debt. As soon as the last debt is paid off my husband and I get to call into the Dave Ramsey show and s-c-r-e-a-m as loud as we can "We're Debt Free!" No debt, zip, zero, zilch, nada. We are almost there. Slaves to debt no more. The only debt we have left is what we are paying off from selling our house. So close! I can almost taste it.

Oh right, speaking about taste- how to feed my family of six on less. Any ideas?

The easiest answer I can come up with is to:
-simplify the meals I make. We don't need 3 courses at dinner every night.
-go vegetarian a couple times per week. (I know a certain 6'7 someone who may dig in his heels at this idea.)
-rotate the simple dinners that I know everyone likes and serve them more often. I get stuck in a rut sometimes because I feel like I have to come up with a new exciting dinner 30 times every month.
-I already buy in bulk at I{heart}Costco, I need to use up what we have before I head there and bring home another truck load.
- find creative ways to use leftovers.

Today I will consider my time spent on the internet as research. Research on how to frugally feed my famished family. Say that 5 times fast!

The "Medicine" Cabinet

2011-01-17T11:47:00.000-05:00

We don't use much medicine in this house. If my kids get a fever I let it burn, if they get a sniffle we load up on foods full of vitamin C, if they have a sore throat we turn to honey and hot lemon. Now that's just our kids and myself. My husband is a different story. There is no over-the-counter fix he doesn't like.

But we do have a closet with a shelf dedicated to all the extra toiletries and such.

All scattered about.

Today's challenge took all of 4 minutes. Good because I'm a few days behind.


Nice and neat and grouped together.

I used one bin for shampoos and all things hair, another bin for medicines, witch hazel, peroxide type of stuff, another bin for tooth paste, floss and extra toothbrushes, and yet another bin for bandages, gauze and first aid hoozitwhatzits.

Done!

Hmmm, spell check won't recognize hoozitwhatzits. What gives?

Longing for a man cave.

2011-01-17T10:45:00.000-05:00

Since I turned our hallway coat closet into a pantry we needed place to hang our coats. We started using another hallway in our house but you had to walk through the living room to get to it. It's not very practical, especially right now while it's snowy and wet outside.

I'd like to get a coat tree for the entry way but it's not high on my list of wants or needs right now so it will have to wait.

Until then we have these:

Yep, that's what you think it is.

Ugh. I hate these things, but my husband loves them and I love my husband so up they went. I'm not the only one who isn't a fan of dead animal parts hanging on the walls. Our two year old refuses to go near them. They are hanging in our front entry way which is at the bottom of the stairs and in between both living rooms. If he needs to get from point A to point B in our house he will go all the way around them and at a full speed run. He also points to them and says "Mooo, boo-boo!"

If I keep them covered with coats I can pretend they aren't there.

This is just another part of my husband I have to learn to get used to. It's what happens when a city girl marries a country boy.

Day 12 - I {heart} cumin.

2011-01-14T21:15:00.000-05:00

Today's organizing challenge was the spice cupboard. I'm glad I had already done that as part of my pantry switcheroo, so I took some time to catch up on laundry today. I had to, with all the deep organizing I've been doing, my regular housework is being neglected.
Here's proof:

Pretty sure 275 fire codes are being broken here.

It's actually not as bad as it appears. My husband is 6'7, 300 pounds. His clothes just naturally make big piles. This only took me 3 loads to catch up on. Oh by the way- don't you love how instead of taking the hamper downstairs when he sees it overflowing, he just keeps piling his giant man clothes on top? Good thing I love him.

I digress. Here's my spices.

Messy, not functional.

I emptied the drawer and spread everything out on my dining room table. I didn't have any old, expired spices only because I dumped all those when we moved 7 months ago.

Organizing and labeling.

Chia seeds.

The best spice! The smell of cumin actually cheers me up when I'm sad.

Anise, celery seed and other rarely used spices.

These spices I use almost daily.

Everything is grouped together for what works for me in my kitchen. Then they get their own shelf in the pantry and i just grab the tote I need when I need it.

Voila!

I'm off to fold some more clothes.

He's sooo good at being 2!

2011-01-14T10:20:00.025-05:00

This is Kiwi-

He has a certain je ne sais quoi about him. He's 2 1/2 years old. He's crazy wild and rambunctious.

He reminds me of this guy:

Taz should have been his nickname instead of Kiwi.

Do you see the resemblance?

How about now?

He keeps me on my toes more than any of my other children did at the same age. I can't take my eyes off him for too long because when I do, he likes to take full advantage of the freedom which usually results in a mess for me to clean up.
Last night for example, he took his sweet time eating dinner so I left him up at the table while everyone else had already finished eating, cleared their places and I'd already started on dishes.
Here's what I got for letting him sit there alone:

Mmm, quinoa. I'll just help myself.

Yummy!

Open wide!

There's the je ne sais quoi I was telling you about. Do you see it?

Not 10 minutes later, after I'd cleaned him up and ~~brushed it all onto the floor for the dogs~~ washed the table, I spotted an exhausted husband sitting on the couch and thought I could sneak an uninterrupted cuddle next to him for about 1.5 minutes. I set Kiwi up in his newly organized playroom and thought I was safe. Surprisingly enough, he was playing so nice and quiet for about 10 minutes. Or so I thought...until I was summoned by my oldest daughter.

"MAMA-COME QUICK- AND BRING YOUR CAMERA!"

Apparently Kiwi had snuck into her room which is right off the playroom, and well...

He had shut himself in the dog crate!

He was so proud of his accomplishment.

How wrong is it that a little light bulb went off in my head at seeing him contained in there? Haha, just kidding...kind of...no really I'm kidding...mostly.

Day 9 -Toy Organization

2011-01-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

I'm scared. Trembling actually. The toy room. *Gulp*

There will be no before picture today. I, uh...forgot. Yea, that's it, I forgot!

Here's a glimpse at what it may have looked like:

Do you get where I'm going with this? It was a ~~complete disaster area~~ wee on the messy side.

I almost skipped this challenge due to the overwhelming task ahead.

"I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?" -Name that movie!

After a small pep talk with myself a la Chris Farley Van Down by the River style, I donned the appropriate gear and got moving:

Quick -Name this movie!

Okay, okay- you get the message!

We were snowed in yesterday so I couldn't leave to get containers. I used what I had on hand and didn't bother to label anything because I plan on replacing the shoe boxes with Dollar store boxes really soon.

You know the routine- Trash, Donate, Keep! Oh boy did I donate and trash today. My older kids don't have many toys, and Kiwi would honestly rather play with my measuring spoons or the dogs so I totally purged in this room!

My own personal Vanna- isn't she awesome?

Bottom shelf- favorite books and legos.

Middle shelf-trains set, blocks, cars, and misc fun stuff.

Books- This is scaled back! Books are very important and well loved in this house.

Then we vacuumed, and left these big toys that Kiwi does actually play with:

Vanna is so camera shy!

Loves that Harley! My 10 year old still uses the spin toy.

Previously filled to overflowing now practically empty!

While doing this challenge kind of stunk, writing it was way too much fun!

Day 7 - This is how it all started

2011-01-12T14:23:00.000-05:00

It's a SNOW DAY! I'm loving not having to get kids up and ready. It was fun sneaking into their rooms to shut off the alarms. I felt like the Tooth Fairy! There's sledding, and hot cocoa and all sorts of fun snow stuff going on today!

I've been working on this pantry for a few weeks now. A Google search for "Closet turned pantry" led me all over the web and finally I landed on Toni's little slice of it . Little did I know I would then be sucked into an entire Organization Challenge. I am glad though. No, really I am.

So we have a kitchen that's a bit awkward. It's not exactly small, it's just laid out really strange. It's not very user friendly. This is the 3rd time in 7 months that I've rearranged it. The original pantry has lots of room but it's so deep that things keep getting pushed to the back and lost in there and I end up buying something at the store that I don't need.

That's when I decided to turn our hall coat closet into our new pantry. I'm so glad I did. It works really well.

Before held dog food...

...and coats and other misc stuff.

I put all the misc stuff where it belonged, and hung the coats in a different area of the house.

I didn't ever take a before picture of the original pantry. I did remember to take a picture of the spice drawer though.

Messy little guys all scattered about.

I'm almost finished with it. I hope to get all matching bins eventually, but this will definitely do for now. It's much more user friendly and I can easily see everything we have or what we are almost out of.

Spices, candles, tea, baking supplies.

The wicker basket holds the spare blades to my food processor

.

Needs some shuffling around but works for now.

I love a stocked pantry.

I'm not kidding about the stocked pantry. I remember some very lean days in my past. We were lucky to have peanut butter and canned tuna. There were many days that I made sure my kids ate but there wasn't enough for me. Not a good feeling. Anywhoo...

Lunch boxes and rags. Hey hangers, you're not supposed to be there anymore!


More spices, snacks and misc stuff.

Have you tried these Roasted garlic and black bean Tostitos? yum!

The closet is at such an awkward angle it's hard for me to get a good picture of the entire thing. I have to back all the way to the wall just to get these shots. It looks fabulous and works so much better. I just pull out the spice baskets when I'm cooking and put them back afterward. The only downside I've noticed is that my 2 year old has easy access to snacks now. Oh well, not a big deal.

Thanks Toni for the inspiration for this!

Day 6 Challenge- Them dirty drawers!

2011-01-11T16:11:00.002-05:00

You must say that with a southern accent! Think Brenda Lee in The Closer.

Lot's of pictures today. Lots accomplished today.

This before picture is a little embarrassing:


Squint real hard and you can make out the top of my dresser.

Commence the emptying and purging of Le Crap! I cleaned off EVERYTHING, dusted, and started making piles. My entire bedroom floor was covered. In clothes, not dust, just to clarify.

Dust rag- yuck!

Fave pics of my husband. Isn't he cute doing crossing guard duty?

Candles are my friend! Lighting is everything in this room ;)

Gift from Santa. The dock, not the iPod.

I bought the iPod myself. Cue Destiny's Child here- All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me!

Some decor.

I don't like my dresser too empty. It reminds me of when we were selling our first house and had to remove any personal effects. I like my house to look lived in.

Buh- bye!

Those are all dollar store and homemade gifts from the kids that I get for Mother's Day and my birthday and Christmas, and, and, and. They are all over my house and I love them but I've decided to relocate them to my curio cabinet in in the living room.

Behold, a dresser!

Now onto those drawers!

My br*ssiere drawer before.

I wear the same 4 br*'s over and over again so this drawer is almost all going to donate! Wonder what that gray towel is doing in there?

My fancy schmancy jewelry roll up.

One day I'll get a real one, but for now the towel/rubber band system works for me! This is temporarily holding the jewelry I don't want in my jewelry box because my 2 year old really likes to dig around in there lately. I don't have much real jewelry but the few pieces I do have mean a lot to me!

Br*ssieres after!

My workout clothes drawer before.

Work out clothes after!

Hello, IKEA cubbies.

I'm using the cubbies above for my socks and undi*s. I matched all my socks and trashed a lot of unders! I'm a big thrift store shopper but I draw the line at buying second hand unders so I just threw mine in the trash. I can neither confirm or deny if I just now got rid of maternity undi*s.

Pj's before.

I'm finally giving away my maternity pj's. My husband will not be sad to see those leave. I, on the other hand will shed a small tear. They are so comfortable! They are so big on me though that they tend to fall down when I 'm walking around in them.

Bye lovelies!

Newly condensed albeit a little wrinkly pj drawer!

The fun drawer before :)

I was holding onto much of my ling*rie because most of it I received as gifts at my bridal shower. That was almost 5 years ago! So got rid of what doesn't fit and kept only what does.

Ready to play name that tune? "Victoria's Secret, well their stuffs real nice. But I can buy the same damn thing on a Walmart shelf half price and still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV. No, I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me."

That was fun! Sorry, got a little sidetracked there, back to the challenge!

Gift hiding drawer. That box holds a Tim Tebow jersey for my son, shh...don't tell.

I feel an explanation is necessary for those disgusting Vienna Sausages. Those belong to my husband. I forgot they were even in there. I can't even stand the smell of them. I buy them once a year for his Christmas stocking and these are the extras. He eats them straight from the can- urp!

I found a different hiding place for gifts and found this in return:

Gasp! An entire empty drawer! Oh the possibilities.

But really I just moved my jeans from the closet to the empty drawer.

Wow! That was a lot of hard work but also very therapeutic! I think it looks great too! I purged a TON of old stuff today. My donate pile is rapidly growing. I was going to make a trip to Goodwill later in the week but now I think I'll hold onto it until after the challenge is over and take one final group picture!

Thanks to Toni over at A Bowl Full of Lemons for hosting this challenge. It is so much fun and long overdue for my house!

Still trucking along

2011-01-10T21:46:00.004-05:00

Day 5 for me, day 8 for others. I'm not giving up though. I thought we were out of the woods with the nasty head cold but my 12 year old stayed home from school today. I think it's time to double up on the green smoothies.

Headed under the kitchen sink today. No plumber crack in sight!

Even my two year old knows the routine by now, as soon as I got down on the floor and opened the cupboard he started to take everything out. Oh wait- first my before picture:

I {heart} Costco!

I wiped down the inside with some hot soapy water then put down some non-slip water resistant covering. Have a look see:

I even cut around the pipes.

Made a mistake while buying bins. I didn't account for the pipes. Is it just me or does my sink have more pipes than most? They were very hard to work around. I purchased a 3 drawer bin to hold my sponges and brushes but it didn't fit. I'm not gonna lie- I was bummed. Not too bummed though. I just used another bin I had.

Look closely, my helper left his hammer in there.

I'm not totally satisfied with it but it'll do for now. ("That'll do Donkey, that'll do" Name that movie!) I also bought a set of racks for the doors to hold my cleaning supplies but once I got them home I had second thoughts about putting the screws into the doors. (We rent) So I'm waiting to find the perfect over-the-door rack but until then- tada! It does look better. I added the dish rack to the donate pile since the only time it gets used is when my mom visits. I also put our recycling container under the sink. It used sit under our breakfast bar, next to the trash can. I like it better here though, it makes the kitchen look more tidy.

I bought some Shaklee products from our Organizing Challenge host over at A Bowl full of Lemons but I've yet to try them. I'm excited to see if they live up to the hype. Until then, I'll use up what I already have.

I'm a little overwhelmed because I'm behind in the challenge but I'm excited at what's happening so I'm determined to finish!

Not quite grown.

2011-01-10T07:04:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of Teenageritis going on in my house these days. She's almost 15, she rolls her eyes. Often. She is sure her younger siblings are here on earth just to annoy her. She spends a lot of time in her room. She texts. A lot. She thinks I don't understand or remember what it feels like to be almost 15. Her dad is worried that she she'll speak in mumbled one word answers for the rest of her life.

She is also an honor student. She is a hard worker. She's excelling on the swim team. She started school this year in a new state, as a Freshman, not knowing one person and still received 10 votes towards becoming team captain. She is dependable. She is responsible. She has moxie. I'm in awe of her bravery most days.

Crazy girl

Sat in line with me to see Santa. She looks excited, yes?

Beautiful in every way.

She still likes to crawl into Mama's bed when she's sick.

I had to resist the very strong temptation to crawl in next to her and snuggle.

Day 4* - Feeling Better

2011-01-09T17:19:00.001-05:00

The rest of the folks doing the challenge are on day 7 but half of my household got hit hard by a head cold. Combine that with my 2 year old's first ear infection, first sick child visit and first round of antibiotics ever and we've been a bit overwhelmed here. Everybody is finally feeling better though so I'm trying to catch up with the organizing. I did escape one afternoon and put my time out of the house to good use. I hit the Dollar store and Walmart and loaded up on a ton of organizing bins and caddies.

Day 4 is the Linen closet. I technically didn't have a linen closet before today. I have the closet in the hallway near the main bathroom that holds towels and washcloths. All the spare bedding was housed in each individual bedroom. I have 2 sets each of sheets, pillow cases, and blankets for each bed in the house. I do that in hopes that my children would be inclined to change the sheets on their beds more often. It's simple really- when you strip the bed of dirties, just put the clean set on and throw the used set down in the laundry room. Just the other day though I asked my oldest daughter when the last time she had changed her sheets and couldn't believe the answer, so...I took full advantage of today's challenge to make a linen closet. With everything in one place, I will be better able to keep track of who is and who isn't changing sheets.

Now, where to put it? We have 3 closets in our master bedroom so I am going to use this one:

Pretend before picture.

Full disclosure time. This isn't the exact closet I'm going to use but my husband was excited to help and he cleared everything out of the other closet before I had a chance to take a before picture. It's identical to this one except it stored boxes (about 4!) of stuff from his childhood and parts to our toddler's crib. It was just as crowded as this one, so use your imagination.

Then I ~~yelled at~~ kindly asked my kids to bring me all their spare, clean bedding. Only my 12 year old could find hers. Hmm...

"Oh, since you're already here, help me fold these sheets please!" She was more than happy to :)

When the rest of the spare bedding comes back from the wash, it will now have a home here:


Hi Minnie!


Spare blankets, beach towels, pillow cases.


Twin sheets, king sheets and the basket has a heating pad and a travel pillow.

I also used the top shelf for an extra duffel bag and Kiwi's travel suitcase. It had been in his room but he keeps stuffing all his socks and underwear in it. Now it's way out of his reach.

I'm off to catch up on the rest of the Challenge!

Day 3 - Easy Peasy!

2011-01-04T15:42:00.001-05:00

Today's project is to tackle that Tupperware! This was easy for me because believe it or not the tupperware cupboard is one of the only places that really bugs me if it's messy. I try to organize it at least on a weekly basis. I don't put anything inside the cupboard unless it has a matching lid.


Not too shabby

I did take the time however to switch everything from one cupboard to another. Something I've been wanting to do but haven't taken the time.


Nice and neat

I did ~~steal~~ borrow a basket from Kiwi's room until I can get to the $ store for a smaller, different colored one. Until then, this now holds those small, round containers that only seem to hold a few tablespoons of sauce, but I keep them because they do come in handy for kids lunches.

Just think, in about 18 more days I should have a sparkly, organized house. Now if only these challenges could do something about the sibling bickering...

Day 2 and I'm ready for a nap!

2011-01-03T16:49:00.000-05:00

Today I tackled the desk. Well, only the top of the desk. It's almost as if the Bowl full of Lemons lady knows me. I think she's starting off slow so some of us participating in the challenge don't run screaming from our computers. Baby steps. I'm a big fan of baby steps. I'm also a big fan of getting my clutter under control so I'm fully committed to finishing this 21 day challenge. 2 days down! Stops typing for a moment to pat herself on the back.

Before

Don't judge.

So I unloaded everything from the top of the desk. Well, I left the printer and phone, but everything else got moved. I resisted the urge to just make one giant sweep with my arm over all the ~~crap~~ clutter.

Then I made it shine like the top of the Chrysler building! Can you name that movie?

Here came the hard part. Sorting through everything. I had one box for Donate, one for Keep and a trash bag for well...trash. Only a few things landed in the Donate box. (eensy weensy baby steps) Then I sorted through the Keep box. This took hours. It took longer because I had this feverish little monkey helping me:

Cute little Monkey!

I did however fill this trash bag. GO ME!

I'm so excited about all the stuff I found buried on that desk!


One of my favorite pics of my now 12 year old and myself.

My ipod holder. They still keep calling me Mom.


A gift card we bought (and promptly lost) as a thank you gift. NOW I remember where I put it!

Here are some much improved after pictures!

A nice snug home for my ~~baby~~ mac.


The basket holds tape, sticky notes & paper clips.

Printer paper, bill holder, pencil jar, a few fave pics and an old Mother's Day gift.


My printer that looks new after I dusted him, another Mother's Day gift, and that cute little framed picture.


All finished!

I may actually pay bills here now instead of hauling the bill caddy to the couch.

I'm totally pumped for Day 3, bring it on!

Day One and already behind...typical.

2011-01-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

I'm participating in A Bowl Full of Lemons 21 day organizing challenge. It started yesterday, but never one to sprint out of the gate, I didn't start until today. First up, the junk drawer. Would you believe me if I told you I don't have a junk drawer? It's true! Although since we just moved ~~7 months ago~~ recently, I may have an entire junk room, but that wasn't the assignment! So I picked another drawer in my kitchen that holds utensils.
Here's the before picture:

That's not too bad right?

I emptied the entire drawer, got rid of a few things I hadn't used in awhile, washed out the drawer before putting everything back, then organized everything into this handy dandy caddy I bought from Target. It only took about 10 minutes total.

Here's the after picture:

I'm excited for the next project! I hope it's how to tackle a "dump room"! You know, that room that stores all the stuff you probably shouldn't have even moved with you in the first place, but are just too ~~lazy~~ busy to start going through stuff? You have one of those rooms too, right? Right?!

What's for dinner tonight.

2011-01-01T12:17:00.005-05:00

Today I'm trying a new recipe from A year of slow cooking. I love this lady's blog, a few years ago she made a New Year's resolution to use her crockpot every single day. I've made many of her recipes, and every single one has been a hit with my family. I took the plunge today and finally ordered her new book. I can't wait to get it in the mail!
I love my crock pot. I use it at least 3 times per week. When I was a single parent I used it 5-6 times per week. I would use my lunch break from work to go home and throw something in. It saved the nightly what's for dinner question, saved us from stopping for fast food, and most importantly saved my minuscule single parent budget! Oh man, that seems a lifetime ago...

Back to tonight's recipe. We are having Margarita Chicken. I had all the ingredients in my kitchen except for one. Chicken. Not one to let a tiny little thing like not having the main ingredient deter me, I just used a pork loin instead. We'll see how it turns out in about 4 hours. I plan on serving mine with quinoa and a salad.

2010 year in review

2010-12-31T16:24:00.005-05:00

2010 will officially go down as the suckiest (what? it's a word.) year on record. That's not to say I didn't learn oh-so valuable life lessons, but still, in a nutshell- it wasn't a good year.

Here are my Top 7 Reasons Why:
1. Moved away from family and friends and everything I've ever known
2. Sold our first home at a tremendous loss
3. Moved to a new, cold, cloudy, rainy, sunless state
4. Marriage crumbled
5. Hit my all time personal low in life
6. Dad had a heart attack
7. Felt God had abandoned me

Now, having stated that I learned a lesson from each and every item above. It was painful but I learned and I grew. Here's how:

1. Being away from everything familiar has forced me to branch out of my comfort zone in so many ways. It has forced my little family to band together.

2. It was our first home but it wasn't filled with happiness. Not even close. Took a $30K hit and we're still paying it off. It's been worth every penny though to have relationships restored in the resulting move. We're now living in a rented house with mauve carpet and a matching mauve kitchen. But it's a pink house filled with peace and love. Wow, that sounds cheesy.

3. Ok, if I'm being completely honest I'm still struggling to to find the lesson in moving here. I miss the Colorado sunshine. I miss the 300 + days of sun per year. I miss real mountains. Sigh. I am learning though that home is where my family is. My husband and kids and I are together and wading through the transition as a team. It's pretty cool.

4. My world fell apart at the beginning of last year. Oh so slowly though, we're rebuilding what was ruined. Whoa boy, this was a tough one. I've learned to love is a choice, to trust is a choice and both decisions have to be made daily. Sometimes multiple times per day. Sometimes multiple times per hour. I'll probably be learning this for the rest of my life. I've learned powerful lessons on forgiveness and grace and mercy. To quote Mahatma Ghandi- The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. I am stronger than I ever gave myself enough credit for and I'm not too modest to claim that.

5. Oh yeah, spent months in sweats or pj's, on the couch, barely functioning. I cried every.single.day from June to October. This one is very personal and made me come to grips with my thinking that depression is a spiritual problem. I no longer believe that. I reached out to my church and got paired up with a counselor. I knew I had to do something though, to be able to come back to the land of the living before my kids are all moved out. Don't get me wrong, living in lala land has it's pros such as baggy, comfortable clothes, a nice indention in the couch that fits you perfectly, being on a first name basis with the pizza delivery person- but it's not how I want my kids to remember me. I also discovered NCIS during the my days on the couch. I now love that show. Oh Leroy Jethro Gibbs, make my heart go pitter pat!

6. This one scared me. I am thankful though that I was close enough to drive to be with him and had the resources available to be able to afford it. We live on the Dave Ramsey plan so we had an Emergency Fund established. The day I left to be with my dad, my husband and I were separated and barely on speaking terms. I spent a week with my Dad, away from my husband and by the time I made the drive home, for the first time in almost a year, I actually missed my husband and felt the tiniest bit of hope for saving our marriage. I also developed a new friendship with my elderly neighbors, one that I cherish. They stepped up and opened their home to my kids before and after school while I was gone. I'm not sure I would have been able to make the trip to see my dad had they not been willing to help in that way.

7. This forced me to go looking for him. Again. I've found him in a fresh, new way. Of course during my search, I discovered He in fact never left me in the first place.

So, while I'm not at all sad to say goodbye to 2010 and I'm looking forward to 2011, I'll always look back on this past year as the one that changed everything.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T09:18:00.005-05:00

Feeling so very blessed this morning.

For friends & kind, honest words

for the birth of a child, my All, my Savior

for family though they are too far away

for my husband and second chances

for nieces and nephews who I know and love, and the ones I don't know but still love

for moody teens who still want to snuggle

for messy rooms but clean hearts

for lessons learned and thorny sides

for questioning 10 year olds and unconditional love

for toddler tantrums and eskimo kisses

for sister best friends and memories to help the hurt

for snowy Christmas Eve mornings.

Life is good.

E's descriptive writing prompt

2010-12-19T19:42:00.003-05:00

This is what E wrote at school about his bedroom:

My Little Kingdom

When you walk into my room, you will smell the Axe man spray that I scent it with everyday. My room is a mess, but not cause I like it like that. It's messy and scented with Axe so my sisters won't come in. My bed is untidy because what's the point of making it if you just mess it up again? I have a bookshelf that has my entertainment, and is right next to my bed. Across from my bed is my comforter which gets thrown there everyday. My walls are littered with pictures of Star Wars characters, sea monsters and trolls (aka my sisters). Clothes- the number one thing that makes my room dirty. Yeah- they make it to the basket...but that's when my mom makes me. My closet on the other hand is pretty clean. Just a Revolutionary War battleship and some clothes hanging up. As you can see, my room (in my opinion) is like a kingdom!

I will definitely be saving this one!

A little slice of peanut butter heaven

2010-12-18T08:24:00.010-05:00

I found this recipe for a Peanut Butter pie on a blog that I follow, Thrifty Decor Chick. I changed it just a little and man oh man is it good! The best part is it's totally easy too!

Hoss said it's better than the one his mom makes. (!!!) Although, with his next bite, mumbled through a mouthful of pie, he said he would deny having said that until his dying breath.

Here's the recipe:

3/4 C confectioners sugar (today I learned that confectioners sugar and powdered sugar are the exact same thing. Who knew? Oh yeah, me too...I was just checking...)

6 oz. cream cheese

1/2 C peanut butter

2 T milk (I use Almond milk and it worked just fine)

One container of Cool whip (I made my own, an extra step but worth it)

Graham cracker crust or chocolate graham crust.

First, beat together the cream cheese and sugar.
Then add the peanut butter and milk, mix together.
Then fold in (almost) all of the whipped cream. You'll save a little to top with later.
Next, dip your finger into the bowl to make sure it tastes ok. Roll your eyes in blissful abandon, savoring this moment. *ahem*
Repeat last step. Slap your own hand so you stop eating the pie filling.
Then plop it into the crust and make it smooth and pretty. **
Let it chill for a few hours then top with the leftover whip cream.
Drizzle with a little chocolate syrup.
Enjoy.
Skip your next 2 meals because you just split a half of a pie with your husband.

This baby is even better the next day and makes a yummy breakfast accompanied with a cup of coffee!

**(I chopped up some mini Reeses pb cups and mixed those in after the cool whip is folded in before the plopping into the crust. I also halved some more pb cups for garnish before adding the choco syrup.

The most wonderful time of the year.

2010-12-15T09:38:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas time! My favorite time of the year. We hunted down our own tree this year and it has made the house smell sooo good. It was fun hiking and hunting for the perfect tree. Cold, cold, fun, but fun still. We learned that some of us like tall skinny trees (wrong) and some of us like short, full trees (right). It's decorated with years and years worth of handmade ornaments from preschool, Kindergarten, church, and school. I love, love, love them. Little handprints of my kids that aren't so little anymore, hanging next to numerous Baby's First Christmas ornaments. One of my favorite things to do is sit in the dark and look at the lights twinkling on the tree. I like all white lights but the kids out voted me and put multi-colored lights on this year. I still have my little 4 foot tree that I keep out year round, so I put white lights on it. It looks just like it's full of stars twinkling in the night. So pretty and peaceful. The big tree is bare on the bottom. It started out full of ornaments but slowly I've started moving them up out of Kiwi's reach. Maybe next year he will be old enough to ignore the temptation to grab every one. He hasn't broken any, he just likes to take them off and look at them or show them to us, in case we haven't seen them before. He is also the reason that I won't be putting any presents out early. I will have to put them all out on Christmas eve, otherwise he would unwrap each and every one!

The mystery of the vanishing blog.

2010-12-01T10:29:00.001-05:00

I cleaned up my blog. I took a few days and deleted all the ugly posts that had been filling it up. I basically got rid of anything that I wouldn't want my kids to read. There were many many posts written about how much I hated my husband and detailed the reasons why. 4 months of personal counseling and 2 months of marriage counseling have helped me change my ways. I have seen the light! I feel like this is where a man in a periwinkle suit prays over me, slaps me on the forehead and I fall backwards into the welcoming arms of Periwinkle Mans entourage.
I'm in a completely different marriage today. I finally feel like this is what marriage is supposed to feel like. I'm in on the joke now. I'm still married to the same person. He still puts his job first. I'm still high maintenance (his words, not mine). Whatev. I like to think of myself as being passionate and opinionated about things that are important to me. Anywhoo...
There's nothing I can say except it's only by the power of the Holy Spirit and His grace that I am still married. Forgiveness and grace are my best friends these days. 6 months ago I had both feet out the door and a plan in action of how to move back home. I still want to move back to Colorado, but now I want my husband to come with me.

There is so much more I want to say about this topic. I'll save it for a later time.

Bye Bye Binky

2010-08-27T11:22:00.004-04:00

When Kiwi was about 4 months old we had a binky emergency. It went missing. Everybody in the house searched high and low and couldn't find it. I made a trip to Target to get a replacement and couldn't find the kind he had been using so I just grabbed one and headed home. He refused to take it. We ended up buying every kind of binky sold at Target to get him to sleep and he just would not be comforted. It was a very long night. First thing the very next day I went to the hospital where he was born and bought 8 or 9 binkies because that was the kind he liked. We just opened his last one. I'm not going to buy any more so that means it's time to start weaning from the bink.

Two of my kids sucked their thumb and the other two used a binky. Ana was 14 months old when she handed me her binky one day and never asked for it again. It was the same thing with her bottle, just handed it to me and was done! It's not going to be that easy with Kiwi. This kid loooves his binky. He is only allowed to have it in his bed at nap or bed time. He tries to sneak it at other times but doesn't get away with that too often. In fact when I try to take it out of his mouth he clamps down on it with his teeth and trying to pull it out is like wrestling with a pitbull. He loves that "game"!

I'm not sure how to go about it though. Should I just take it and make him quit cold turkey? Or offer it to him only at night? Only give it to him if he asks for it? Well that last one wouldn't work because it's the first thing he grabs when it's bedtime. As soon as I tell him it's time to get ready for bed he makes a beeline for the drawer we keep it in. He won't say prayers until he has it firmly in place.

This is going to be an adventure.

How low can you go?

2010-08-25T03:50:00.004-04:00

Music seems to be the only way I feel God lately. My Bible? I read it. Church? I go. Tithe? Check. Devotions with the kids? Yes.
I cry and cry and cry and I ask and I ask and I ask. The response?
**Crickets chirping...**
...

It's frustrating. Definitely at a low point right now. A valley.

"The pathways are broken, and the signs are unclear, and I don't know the reason why You brought me here. But just because You love me the way that You do, I'm going to walk through the valley if You want me to. 'Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step and I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet. So if all of these trials bring me closer to You, then I will go through the fire if You want me to. It may not be the way I would have chosen when You lead me through a world that's not my home but You never said it would be easy You only said I'd never go alone." ~If you want me to by Ginny Owens

The Screaming Banshee

2010-08-09T21:09:00.001-04:00

The OH SO terrible two's...

2010-08-06T14:13:00.000-04:00

This morning E asked me why Kiwi was being such a brat. I explained the phenomenom of the terrible two's to which E replied "Man, I hope he turns 3 soon!"
I hate to say it but lately we all look forward to Kiwi's daily nap time.

Don't let this sweet innocent face fool you:

Look closely at this face, you see it don't you?:

They call him the Streak

2010-03-03T18:25:00.001-05:00

At least 3 times every week, I go into Kiwi's room in the mornings and he is buck naked. I am greeted by the cutest little full moon you'll ever see. He has learned how to work zippers, snaps and velcro. So far though, on the mornings he decides to be a Chippendale, he has only peed. Now, I am all for letting my children express their artistic nature, but I feel I'm pressing my luck. I don't want to walk in one morning to a masterpiece he has "painted" so I think I'm going to start putting his pj's on backwards. There is no way he can figure that out.

Right?

From the mouths of babes

2010-01-30T00:09:00.003-05:00

I sat the 3 older kids down tonight to have a talk.

Because I've heard things.

Things I needed to clarify.

Apparently my kids and my sister's kids have been talking to each other. My kids have been asking their cousins what they know about the things that are going on around here. Did they have any info? The cousins were sent out on a recon mission. Their mission: to find out what their mom, my sister, knows about why Dad moved out and to report back any news. The only thing I told them on the first day he left, was that there was something broken between Mom and Dad and we are going to try to fix it. I told them it had nothing to do with them, they did nothing wrong,

My son has spent the last 2 weeks since my husband left thinking that Dad moved out because he was lying to Mom about eating junk food. He says he has been eating healthy when really he's been lying and eating junk! That is what my son has been thinking all this time.

So I assured him that we wouldn't have separated over a lie about food. They asked more questions than I was expecting. I answered as honestly as I could without giving details. I did finally admit that yes, Dad lied to Mom about something very serious and something that has hurt me and Dad has to figure some things out before we will live together again. I also made sure to say how hard marriage is and Dad puts up with a lot from Mom, and Mom puts up with a lot from Dad, that's just a part of being married. But there are some things a person just doesn't have to put up with. I hope I didn't say too much.
K broke out in tears. Apparently she was terrified that she was going to have to leave too because she got in trouble for lying a few nights ago. This broke my heart. Of course an 11 year old would see it that way. We had a good cry, and many hugs and yes, I turned it into a lesson about lying. I reminded them that No Lying has been our number 2 family rule since each of them was very little. No Hitting is our number 1 rule. It was a good talk.

18 month well check

2010-01-24T02:33:00.000-05:00

Looking good! Kiwi had his 18 month well check last week. He weighs 24 pounds and is 33 1/2 inches long. I think he will be tall like his dad. Probably too soon to tell. His iron count was on the low side. Barely. He has been eating spinach smoothies and beans in absolutely everything since his appt. I'm not kidding. I have been mixing black beans in his yogurt even. Is it wrong that I told him they were blueberries? Actually, I think I was just telling myself that because it was pretty gross- beans in yogurt. Whatever, he gobbles them right up! He is trying hard to talk. He clearly says Mama, Dada, Ana and doggie. That's pretty much it for his vocabulary though. Not sure what that is about, but I'm not going to stress too much about it quite yet. It probably is just the fact that he is the baby of 4 kids and his older siblings will pretty much do anything he wants anytime he just looks cute. We know he can hear fine, so it's not that. He is completly vaccine free and is my healthiest kid by far! It seems his pediatrician has finally accepted that he's not going to get any vaccines. She didn't even give me her usual speech about 'the risks I'm choosing to expose him to'. Or maybe she could tell I was having a really rough day and just let it go this once. My husband had moved out of the house the morning of Kiwi's appointment. I think it may have been obvious I was having a really bad day. Here are some pics of my healthy, growing boy!

Here he is cleaning out one half of a spaghetti squash by himself. The kid loves his veggies.

At his check up. So cute.

His usual sleeping position. I'm not kidding. If it makes anyone feel better, his hands are not actually inside the diaper, just inside his pj's.

Like nails on a chalkboard

2010-01-12T15:49:00.005-05:00

That's it. I've had it. I'm fed up! My older kids are bickering so much with each other lately that when they are doing it I don't even enjoy being in the same house as them, let alone the same room. It's gone beyond normal sibling pestering I think. I was sitting outside on my porch a few weeks ago waiting for the kids to get home from school and I could actually hear my kids before I saw them. A full 5 minutes before I saw them. They were 1 street over and I heard them yelling at each other. When I told them about this E said maybe their voices were carried on the wind and that's the only reason I heard them. (Good thing that kid is cute sometimes!) Seriously, who wants to be those kids' mom? These aren't the kids I've raised. I almost wonder if they are just acting out because their Dad is working so much, who could blame them really? I'm acting up because he's gone so much. Back to the issue though. I have made numerous attempts to end it. I have:

-calmly set them outside and told them they are more than welcome to come back in the house once the bickering is finished because I choose not to hear it.

-sat the offenders together, facing each other and told them they have to name 10 sincere things they love about the other person before they can get up.

-bound their wrists together with a bandana so that they are forced to work together as a team with whatever activites they have to accomplish for the rest of the night. Usually it's homework, eating dinner and doing their dish chore. This one is actually kind of fun to watch. I do let them take it off for bathroom breaks.

I think all of the above ideas are great, creative ways of making it their problem and not mine to solve. But it's just not working. Some brilliant, genius idea needs to come into my brain within the next few days or I'm just going to buy a pair of boxing gloves and lock them in a room together. That's how over it I am. Somebody remind me again why I'm so excited for Kiwi to start talking?

How to eat a Buckeye

2010-01-10T21:55:00.017-05:00

Top 22 list why 2010 will kick 2009's butt!

2010-01-01T13:02:00.008-05:00

1. I will look in the freezer before I go grocery shopping, no more buying items in triplicate.

2. I will listen to the hearts of my children during unemotional times. Find out who they really are and why.

3. I will no longer deny that Friday is my favorite day of the week because that's when the mailman delivers my People magazine. There is no shame here.

4. I will not adopt a dog this year. I can't allow the amount of 4 legged children I have out number my 2 legged kind.

5. I will get my photos off the computer and into photo albums. This will probably be a year long project but I'm up for the task.

6. Quit trying to win approval from that one elusive relationship. Nothing I do will ever be good enough so I will stop trying. I will enjoy the freedom that comes with this release.

7. Dust my ceiling fans more than 2x's per year.

8. Quit grumbling every time I buy clothes for my husband. It's not fair that I should pay more for a "little" extra fabric to cover his bigness and tallness. I've married a giant, it's a reality I've got to come to terms with.

9. Give in and buy a new T.V.- 1989 called, they want their boob-tube back. And while I'm at it I will also get rid of dial up internet service.

10. Take a family vacation. Even if that means I have to get on an airplane.

11. Not audibly* sigh every time someone says "Well, at least he makes good money" when I complain about my husband being gone so much with work. Really people, you have no clue. *This technically means I can still sigh inaudibly.

12. I will aggressively fight back and win the battle over my health. I will do everything possible to avoid a hysterectomy. I am putting away the welcome mat and posting an eviction notice- Shad, Rad, and Bennie (what I've affectionately named my tumors) you've got to go. Sorry boys but my uterus is no longer your humble abode.

13. I will write more. Make plans so that when Kiwi enters kindergarten, I will go back to school and pursue my passion of writing. If my mother-in-love can do it in her 60's then I can do it in my late twenties.

14. I will be a better neighbor. I bake cookies when someone shovels my walk or mows the lawn but when is the last time I invited them to church?

15. I will clip Kiwi's nails more often. Seriously, he's going to take an eye out.

16. I will call Kiwi by his given name more often. I don't think the boy knows his real name.

17. Quit trying to hide that I say "Dude!" and "Awesome" a lot. Be a proud child of the 80's/90's and let my freak flag fly a little higher this year.

18. Spend more time with my children individually. Really single them out and zone in on my favorite.

19. Cut my hair. I only keep it long because my husband likes it that way. New deal: when he quits chewing- I'll wear my hair long.

20. Find a theater group for E to join. Help my husband realize that our son is not going to be an all-star athlete, but he may just thank us in his award acceptance speech and buy us that dream home of ours.

21. Not 'venti' size anything this year.

22. Quit denying that I have a 2nd strong willed child in my life. Obviously God has more faith in my parenting abilities than I do because I am the proud mother of not 1 but 2 of these blessed little beasts.

Happy New Year!

Update on the tumas.

2009-12-29T13:28:00.002-05:00

I'm 3 1/2 months pregnant. At least that's what I look like. The biopsy came back benign so my Dr is treating me for fibroids. I am so swollen it's driving me crazy. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start wearing my maternity clothes. I have been looking at some of the pictures of myself at Christmas and I really do look pregnant. I'm just waiting for somebody to say something. That will be a fun time. Scripture tells me to find the joy in every situation. Every feeling and emotion I'm dealing with Jesus has also felt. I must keep skipping over that passage where Jesus deals with the golf ball sized tumors in his uterus. The embarrassment of knowing people in my life are thinking I am just getting fat(er). I haven't told anyone except my sisters and my small group. I'm sure most people think I should just lay off the cookies already! I want to carry a sign that says "Yes I'm fat but here is why!" (I'm probably going to be struck by lightening today having just typed that bit about Jesus and his uterus. No sense in erasing it now, God knows I've already thought it.)

I do have a few options on how to deal with the fibroids. All medical procedures of course. I asked my Dr if there was any way to treat them naturally, she said no, my only options are the 3 procedures she listed and then looked at my as if to say "Stop being so silly!". Well I don't buy into that. So here is my plan: I'm going to see if changing my diet will have any affect on them. Even if they don't disappear totally, maybe they will at least shrink. I'm going to become a member of Disease Proof, Dr. Joel Fuhrman's website. He has so much information on that site that I believe in. He wrote the book Eat to Live, he writes that our bodies were created to heal themselves, cancer is a (mostly) preventable disease, people are killing themselves by living on the Standard American Diet. I'm going to a new Chiropractor and I believe she will also be able to help me avoid a hysterectomy. Hopefully this will work, I am going to give it 3 months and check back in with my GYN to see if there have been any changes in the size of the tumors. Although if my new approach does work like I have faith it will, I hope I'll be able to see for myself that they have shrunk, without needing an ultrasound. Lets pray 2010 will be a fibroid free year!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T01:36:00.004-05:00

In less than an hour it will be Christmas. Hoss is in PA, we are not. We had planned to spend Christmas out there with him since he is working but that was before we knew we would be moving so I wanted to spend Christmas out here with my family. Who knows how long it will be before we all spend another one together? The house is quiet, all of the kids are asleep, all of the dogs are asleep, Jazz is under the desk keeping my feet warm, Santa's cookies and rice milk are waiting for him on the kitchen counter, our very own Charlie Brown Christmas tree is lit up and Christmas music is playing thru my desktop speakers. The kids and I went to an early (3:30 pm)Christmas Eve service at our church, then stayed to volunteer in the nursery for the next service. E and K had big plans for this year. E got a new telescope for Christmas from Papa & Nana and they were going to use it to look for The Big Fat Guy in the Red Suit. (Hmmm, I just noticed I am wearing my red pajamas, I think I will go change right this very moment). They were tracking Santa all night on www.noradsanta.org, and were determined to pull an all-nighter. This was going to be the year for a sighting, finally! Banana was the first one to go to bed. I'm positive I saw the other 2 kids high five when she went down to her room. I can't really blame them, she isn't the most pleasant person to be around lately. Oh the joys of being 13. Well, K gave in just after 10pm and by 10:30 they were all 3 snoring away. I guess that's what happens when you stay up late watching movies on Dec 23rd, you just aren't very well rested for a Christmas Eve all night stake out. Gee, it's almost as if I had that one planned out...

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Maybe it's a tuma. (said in my best Ahnold voice)

2009-11-19T14:12:00.002-05:00

Dear God, please please don't let this be serious. I'm freaking out. I just signed a new life insurance policy on Monday. Tuesday morning my world was knocked off its scheduled, list making axis a little. I run my household like a well oiled machine. A machine that I like to drive. It could be argued that I have control issues. So what? You want to make something of it? I'm always up for a good argument. If arguing was an Olympic sport I would have won gold. Well truthfully I probably would have been kicked off the team due to steroid use. Or poor sportsmanship like behavior. See where I'm going with this? I know this is an area that I will always wrestle God with. Well hopefully not always but certainly until I grow and mature in my faith enough to fully trust him. Does that ever really happen? I know my children and my husband, family, home, life, everything I have, every breath I take are all a gift from God but when it comes down to it does He really know how to take care of my family better than I do? This is a lesson I've been struggling with for many years. As many years as I've been a follower of Christ, so lets see...9 years now. That's a long time to deal with any problem. Maybe HE is finally fed up with wrestling with me. Maybe HE has decided now is a good time to relinquish all control. I'm not sure my Papa understands just how much my family means to me. I have 4 children and 1 husband that would not make it without me. Well the children would recover but I'm not so sure about my man. I have my reasons for worrying about him more. Don't even get me started on what my sisters mean to me.

I'm pretty sure only my sister reads this so I'm going to go into detail here. I went in for my annual exam and it turned out to be a not so routine appointment. The Dr wanted to do an ultrasound right then but I had plans. An ultrasound wasn't on my list of things to do that day. (It's a sickness I know.) I was busy getting ready to leave for a weekend away with my husband so I scheduled it for when we returned. On Tuesday I had a 3D ultrasound and found 3 tumors growing in my uterus. (I've always wanted one of those 3D ultrasounds when I was pregnant but I never wanted to pay the extra money for it. Now I finally get one and there is no baby in there to take pictures of. Just ugly ugly tumas- Arnold voice again). Anyway, they could be fibroid tumas which are fairly common and can just be monitored. My Dr. did say they just keep growing though and one of them is already a considerable size and my uterus is enlarged. My husband and I have both noticed it, I look about 2-3 months pregnant some days but with all my medical expertise I ignored it for a very long time because I thought maybe it was a result of having a cesarean delivery with Kiwi. I thought maybe the uterus doesn't shrink down the same like it would after a vaginal birth. I keep forgetting that I in fact have not gone to medical school and do not walk around in a white coat with "Dr." printed on it. I finally went in to the Dr because I've been having such heavy periods for months now. I quit nursing Kiwi about 4 months ago and that is when I noticed the difference in my cycle. I am bleeding for 15 days out of every month and for 3 days it is so heavy and painful that I can't leave the house. I'm seriously housebound. Such fun! I would like to pause and take a moment here to say thank you to my ancestor Eve. I really hope that apple was worth it. It better have been a Granny Smith, those are the best ones anyway. If all this pain was caused by a Jona Gold or Golden Delicious (gag) then we're going to have some words when I meet you one day. Moving on...

The dr said my uterus wall is so thin that I could not safely carry another baby. I guess this is what happens when at 10 months pregnant you are as big around as you are tall. With E and Kiwi both I measured 57 inches around and I am only 61 inches tall. I have big babies. I am a great incubator. The door to having another child has been shut. I feel for my husband. He doesn't feel like our family is complete. I could have gone either way. I would have another baby for Hoss if it meant that much to him and well because it's a baby. I think I will have baby urges until I die. That's a good reason to volunteer in the nursery at church. I can go in and sniff all the newborn baby smell and get my fix and then get out of there. Plus, my younger sisters will probably all have babies one day. I will be an awesome Tia and get to hold babies babies babies. My reasons for not having any more children are because:

1. We already have 4 happy, healthy children and I'm eternally grateful for them.

2. I am enjoying my time with Kiwi so much. Raising him with Hoss is such a different experience for me. I enjoy being his mommy. I enjoy the little things more than I did with the older kids. When Kiwi wants to stop to play with a crack in the sidewalk I let him. I'm not so frantically focused on just trying to survive each day like I used to be.

3. I do not want to experience a cesarean delivery ever again.

So I will sadly say goodbye to that chapter in my life. I will trust the Author of my life with each next chapter. I will try really really hard not to write the book myself. (Maybe He will let me edit it before publication?)

I am having a biopsy done tomorrow. They will biopsy the actual tumas and my uterine lining. It will be a very long weekend waiting for results. If the tumas are fibroid tumas and keep growing I may need to have a hysterectomy. I would definitely get a second opinion and will be meeting with a holistic nutritionist that I know. Going straight to a hysterectomy just seems a little drastic to me. If the tumas are not just fibroid tumas...well I don't know. I haven't thought much beyond that point.

I don't want to be the grown up!

2009-11-12T15:13:00.004-05:00

This is a very hard role for me to play. I'm trying trying to be supportive of my husband. I want to have his back, I want him to know that I have his back. Always. That doesn't come easy for me. I think I may have spent too many years alone, being a single parent, not having to share decisions with anyone. Hoss is taking a job in Pennsylvania. Well he already works in Pennsylvania but he is taking a promotion that requires him to live in the area he will be in charge of. He will work 3 weeks on and have 1 week off. During his 3 weeks on he will be on call. But unless there is a situation that requires him to go out to one of the rigs, he will be home every night. He will be home every night! This would be the best move for our marriage. His current schedule is very tough on us as a couple and as a family. He is gone a lot. It's difficult to feel close to somebody that is gone half of the year. I'm absolutely terrified about moving across the country. I've lived here since I was a baby. My kids have built their lives here. It will be hard to watch the kids have to say goodbye to their friends. I'm not terribly worried about E. He has already told me that if we do move to PA, we will only be a few hours from a beach and the Hershey's factory is out there. But age 9 is different from age 14. It will be very sad for Banana. She is starting highschool next year. That's a tough age to have to start all over. But I've told her that I don't want to say No to God. I feel like he is leading us on this journey. Literally a journey. And although it's not what I want to happen, I don't want to say No to Him. I also want to say Yes to Hoss. He works very hard for our family. His job allows me to stay home with Kiwi. He is excited about this opportunity and experience. We have to just look at it as an adventure. One that we will take together.

Sometimes I don't like being the adult.

Being a Cub Scout Mama

2009-10-05T15:51:00.004-04:00

It's Camporee time! Camporee is a camping weekend with E's Webelos troop. I, being the Webelos leader feel obligated to attend. It's gonna be cold. I don't like to be cold. I don't like to be hot either but right now I'm focused on how much I don't enjoy being cold. I can handle the cold if I'm at home, under a blanket, with a fire burning ever so brightly in the fireplace. But we're going to be outside! All day! I will admit that I'm not staying for the entire weekend. I'm not crazy after all. No way no how am I going to be sleeping in a tent for 2 nights freezing my cha chas offs. If Hoss were also going and I had him to snuggle with in a sleeping bag, well that would be a different story. I don't want to be away from Kiwi that long so E and I are going Saturday only. I'm so glad I have a baby to use as an excuse. Actually it's true. Hoss and I are going away for a long weekend next month to Estes Park, and unless I smuggle him into my suitcase, I'll have to spend my first weekend away from Kiwi then. I bet he would fit, hmm...

Anyway, I'm getting our fishing gear ready for Saturday. I hope and pray E is feeling better by then. He's been down with the flu for almost a week already. It would be a shame if we had to miss it *wink *wink ;)

Who needs drugs, we've got silly putty

2009-09-19T22:22:00.002-04:00

Update on Bleu's school behavior. An idea that came out of the brainstorming was to homeschool him. I don't really want to homeschool, he doesn't want to be homeschooled either. At least not by me. I told him he has until October 1 to show some serious improvement or he will begin homeschooling October 2. This has totally lit a fire under that skinny little butt of his! I have seen an entirely different kid this week. His teacher has also seen this new kid. I haven't had to remind him to stay on task while getting ready in the morning. He gets out of bed the first time I call him, he is down to breakfast quickly and is even getting his backpack ready without a reminder. He even got a positive referral from school on Friday for having all his homework turned in A DAY EARLY and completing his classwork during the assigned time! So I've learned the secret to modify a childs unfocused behavior: just threaten to homeschool him! Huh- who knew? His teacher is also allowing him to keep a wad of silly putty in his desk. He kind of kneads it with his free hand while she is explaining a lesson or giving instructions and instead of being a distraction it is actually helping him to concentrate better. Not sure what that is about, but we'll just go with it.

Drugs are not the answer.

2009-09-14T16:55:00.004-04:00

I recently had a conversation with my sons' 4th grade teacher about Bleu's lack of concentration in class. She thinks he has a problem. Apparently serious enough for her to suggest medical intervention. Now I know that he is a scatterbrain, (please, of course I know this, I am his mother), but I wonder- doesn't every parent of a boy know the same truth? It's just how boys are. They aren't programmed to sit at a desk all day. He isn't made that way. He needs to be active and engaged, not just reading from a textbook or listening to a lesson. I'm not going to make excuses for him either. He does need to be respectful of his teacher and classmates. He knows that being a student is his job, and only he can take responsibility for his behavior and his actions. My boy is so creative, and smart, and funny. I am not going to medicate my son so that he will be easier to deal with as a student. Nope, not going to happen. We are super organized here at home when it comes to schoolwork. Each child has a cubby area for their school work and all things school related. I do tend to be more strict than most parents. I tell my son often that I've already graduated from 4th grade, this is his job. It's not my problem that he forgot to turn in his homework or forgot to have his planner signed. I don't just completely make him fend for himself but I am not going to hold his hand to school to make sure he turns his work in either. So, I am going to try to offer a few more reminders here at home and before he leaves for school each morning. I am going to have to brainstorm some ideas to help him. I know we can make this work.

We're going back, back, back to school!

2009-08-21T11:51:00.003-04:00

Why I love summer break: no setting my alarm (I still get up early with the baby, but not as early)

no packing school lunches

doing whatever we feel like doing all day- no schedules

spending time with the kids

watching them bring home a bucket full of crayfish from the creek

walking to Russell Stovers to have ice cream for lunch

spending all day in my pj's if I feel like it (while secretly being terrified that someone will stop by unannounced and think I do that everyday)

movie marathons

seeing my Dad and Grandma

bbq's

park days

watching the kids play with the neighbor kids, being thankful that they have good friends and are good friends in return

lemonade stands

bike rides

dandelion bouquets from my kids

seeing how excited my husband is about camping

Why I don't love summer break:

it's hot

having the neighbor kids ring my doorbell 36 times everyday to see if the kids can come play

hearing my son scream in horror because the dogs just ate all the crayfish out of the bucket

swim suit season

roly poly farms in my tupperware

getting frustrated and overwhelmed easily because the kids are home ALL DAY LONG (I've been known to hide in my car in the garage)

sweaty little boy smell

nursing bee stings

crying when my Dad leaves

7 a.m. swim meets.

Here's to another fabulous school year!

Cleaning out the freezer

2009-07-30T21:34:00.002-04:00

Digging thru the freezer last week we found a turkey that we bought when it was on sale. So for dinner tonight we had our own mini thanksgiving dinner. It was much too quiet at the dinner table though to actually remind anyone of Thanksgiving. I admit it felt a little strange cooking a full size bird in July but the weather has been rainy and cold for the past few days so the oven going for a few hours felt good. We had some of the best sweet corn on the cob and mashed potatoes to go along with it. I think it is just second nature to make mashed potatoes when you have a 22 pound bird baking in your oven. Poor Kiwi was sent to bed early because he had decided to skip his nap earlier in the day. He had a scrumptious pb&j and was snoring by the time Hoss was busing carving away.

Happy Birthday Kiwi

2009-07-25T14:02:00.009-04:00

My how time flies! Kiwi is already one! He is losing his baby face, he has such a cute little boy face. Still very blond hair and very very blue eyes. I can't wait to see if he stays blond as he grows older. I thought his hair would have darkened by now, so who knows? We had a party for him at home. There was a ton of food and good friends and family. He had fun opening his gifts. I didn't do a very good job keeping track of which gift was from whom, so thank you notes are a little slow getting out. He is having fun with all of his new stuff. He has worn every outfit and tried to stuff every new toy in his mouth. He got a set of flashcards from Grandpa & Grandma and I've tried to sit down with him everyday for a litle flashcard time. He has spent the last week teething. He now has 3 teeth, 2 of bottom and 1 on top. Such a cute little smile. We also had his one year old pics taken at Target. They turned out adorable (of course) and I can't wait to get them in some frames. I swear now that he is one, he can't be contained! He is trying to climb over the gates, out of his crib, out of his playpen, anywhere! He is having fun on his outdoor play structure. He spends most of his time just opening and closing the little front door. He is saying Mama, Daddy, Tia, Up, & Bobo (brother). It's so hard to believe but my last baby is no longer a baby. They really do grow too fast.

Father's Day camping

2009-06-24T16:21:00.009-04:00

For Father's Day this year all Hoss wanted was to take his family camping. How easy is that? We found a little campground not far from home, only about 30 miles. We had planned to leave midday Friday and return Sunday afternoon or early evening. That's not quite how the weekend played out.

We didn't leave town until about 6pm Friday. We had to take a little detour to the E.R. because Akira broke her arm. She fell down the basement staircase. Her arm looked...weird. It swelled up immediately so we put ice on it. By the time we got to the hospital the swelling was very minimal and she said she wasn't really hurting that badly. I thought it was just a sprain and we were wasting our time at the hospital. But turns out it was broken clear through from one side of her bone to the other. I keep forgetting I haven't gone to medical school. Luckily she will only have to keep her cast on for 3 weeks. She is very disappointed that she can't ride her bike or rollerblades or scooter during that time. At this point I figured our camping trip would be in our backyard but the ER doc ok'd us to go as long as Akira didn't swim or hike and we took along plenty of Motrin.

Yeah, off to the mountains. Anakin wasn't with us this weekend. She went to Buena Vista with a friend. We took Akira's bff and she was very good and even a big help with Kiwi. We had great weather the first night. I was a little worried that we would be setting up camp in the dark but Hoss and E and myself got the tent up and dinner started pretty quickly. We were all on our second smores by dark. Kiwi had a rough night. He wasn't very impressed with the sleeping arrangements. I thought he would be stoked considering he got to sleep inbetween Mommy and Daddy. He didn't sleep very well. I think next time we will pack his playpen or just give him his own sleeping bag. We'll have to figure that out before the next trip. We woke up to a dreary looking Saturday morning. It wasn't raining but there wasn't much sun either. Not a big deal, we all brought warm clothes. I managed to read an entire People magazine while Kiwi napped and the kids made some friends at the playground. We just sat around in our chairs watching the chipmunks and hummingbirds flit around us. My husband is definitely an outdoorsman. That was the happiest and most relaxed I've seen him in awhile. He got to fish for about 20 minutes before it started to storm. If it was just rain we would have been ok, but the rain was accompanied by some pretty scary lightening. We ended up coming home early Saturday night. I think we were sitting down to some Little Caesars by 5:30.

Oh well, there's always next time.

Setting up camp

Playing a round of lasso golf

There's a Kiwi under there.

K's new cast.

Our garden

2009-04-17T15:21:00.002-04:00

I have so many pics of the garden but I'm unable to upload any pics from my camera. I hope to fix that soon. Stacey and I are co-farmers. We technically were co-farmers last year but as I was 8-10 months pregnant last summer, she did all of the gardening herself while I hid inside with the A/C cranked full blast. Although I do think I did a tremendous job supervising. This year we are planting: lettuce, peas, cabbage, corn, beets, brussel sprouts, leeks, radishes, strawberries, tomatoes, green peppers, and jalapenos. Hoss built us a fence to keep the dogs out and tried to cut off his thumb in the process. He probably could have used a couple of stitches but instead he just super glued it shut. Ewww. He asked for my help with the surgery and I promptly refused. I did however offer to drive him to the Dr's office, he politely declined my offer and muttered something about how "real men don't need no stinkin' stitches". Anyway, it's snowing lots and lots right now so I brought in the strawberries and tomatoes last night. I hope what we already have in the ground survives this storm. Keeping my fingers crossed. Speaking of all the snow I think I'm going to ask for a snowblower as a gift this year. Hoss is usually gone when it snows and the kids aren't much help. They don't have much upper arm strength, they are such weaklings. Eli lasts the longest outside but he spends most of his time shoveling designs in the culdesac. I am sore for 3 days after shoveling the walk and driveway. And my favorite chiropracter has moved to Panama. Darn him, following Gods calling and all that jazz. Hoss says it's better to shovel early, even if it's still snowing, makes it easier to keep up with. I think it's better to wait till it's done snowing then shovel. Doesn't that make more sense?

Cheap home security system

2009-04-07T12:44:00.007-04:00

Found this, thought it was funny:

Here are some instructions for installing a home security system yourself.

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.

Cooter

I am a Mixed Chick hopeful

2009-04-01T14:44:00.006-04:00

I have never liked my hair. Never. It is so hard to take care of. My dad is mixed black and mexican. My mom is a redhead with freckles. I have naturally curly hair that is very course, kinky and tightly curled. And I have LOTS of it. I have tried so many styling products, I usually end up mixing a few together to get the best results. I don't like spending too much time on my hair mostly because I know the end result will mostly look the same. I just found out about a new hair product called Mixed Chicks. It looks very promising. So promising that I ordered some online today. I am hopeful after seeing some of the before and after pictures and reading a few of the tesimonials but of course that is on the company's website so who knows? It should arrive in about 1 week and I can't wait to try it.

Who will be on poop patrol?

2009-03-15T01:10:00.010-04:00

The kids and I went to the Humane Society today and spent almost 5 hours there looking at dogs. I found 2 that I want to be mine so badly. I'm pretty sure I should wait till Hoss gets home but man was I tempted to bring them home NOW! Here are my reasons:

1. He would say yes anyway, I'd only have to ask.

2. He is gone so much, the pooch would be mainly my responsibility.

3. I'm still a little sore about him taking a job without talking to me about it 1st. (who me? hold a grudge? nah.)

It was so hard to leave without bringing at least 1 of them home. This coming from the girl that was terrified of dogs as a young girl. I still remember being bit on the butt by a little yippy thing in the 4th grade. *shudder at the memory*
Jazz is 14 and we both think it would be better to get a dog now while she is still with us rather than after. We keep telling ourselves it won't feel like she is being replaced if we do it that way. It is going to be so hard. Somedays she acts her age, very slow and tired and her back legs have started to give out on stairs. Other days she acts like a puppy and doesn't slow down. I remember when Hoss and I first got married, she would go on hunger strikes whenever he left town. She would lay by the front door of our townhome and refuse to eat until he returned. I think she was just pouting because I took over "her" recliner. Hoss had a matching set of leather recliners and one was his and the other belonged to her. She ignored me for the first 3 months of our marriage unless she was taking a moment to stick her tongue out at me. (I swear she used to do it!) Now she is my buddy. She is still Hoss' lap dog (only because he is the only one with a lap big enough to hold her) but she and I are close. She wasn't quite sure what to think of the dogs we visited today. One we will probably end up getting is a 5 yr old male blue heeler. A little overweight, but we can fix that by taking long walks. The other I fell in love with was an 8 year old male Boston Terrier. We need to hurry up and move out of the city so I can get them all! This is Snickers:

This is Domino:

I want him. *sigh*

A teenager in our midst.

2009-03-11T12:39:00.002-04:00

Hoss is freaking out because Ana has started wearing makeup. Just eyeshadow and lip gloss, but still, he acts as if she just announced her engagement. It's funny, he keeps muttering something about having daughters and being a proud gun owner. She asked me first before she bought any and then I showed her how to not leave the house looking like a clown or streetwalker. Nobody ever showed me how to wear makeup so I'm sure there are plenty of pics in existance that show me looking like Bozo. She is the very last of her friends to start wearing make up. Hoss should be thankful it took this long. She is the only one of her friends who doesn't have a cell phone *gasp*! Some of her friends act as if she is being abused. I don't really have a problem with her having a cell phone, she just needs to get a job to pay for it herself. Pretty simple really. I do have a problem when I see the 1st graders at my kids' school pull out their phones as soon as the bell rings at the end of the day. Those parents just need to be slapped. Hard. We did go ahead and get the kids their own phone # here at the house. More for my benefit really. This way I don't have to answer the phone when I hear their ring. Ana is the only one that uses it really, Akira doesn't make many phone calls ...yet. And Eli is a 9 yr old boy. Ana gets about 7 calls every night. Same conversation with each friend it seems. What are you wearing tomorrow? Are you coming over this weekend? Mr. Ressler is sooo hard! Did you see so-and-so holding hands?!Her number rings way more often than ours, a sad example of how I do not have much of a life. Hoss thinks it is a new sport though. He loves torturing her when someone calls. If he makes it to the phone first he makes sure to answer in his most embarrassing accent and then carries on a conversation with her friends while Ana is jumping at him trying to get the phone before dad humiliates her totally. If by chance she does reach the phone first, Hoss promptly picks up another handset to be as annoying as possible. That's when I hear "Mom, make him stop!" Being able to torture and humiliate your children, ah, the joys of parenthood.

Coming soon: smaller, svelte, Shislers

2009-02-26T12:45:00.006-05:00

Ok, so I'm trying to lose weight. Not baby weight. No, I've already lost that. I'm trying to lose the weight I gained before I got pregnant. The Thyroid Weight. I blame it on my thyroid that had a mind of it's own for awhile. I don't want to sound like Oprah and blame it entirely on my thyroid. I will also lay blame on grieving when my dad died, being lonely when Hoss is gone and consoling myself with a bag of Doritos, being a regular at Mi Tierra, my friend Ben & his pal Jerry, the list goes on and on. Basically I'm tired of listening to my husband lie to me when I complain about being overweight. He is a horrible liar. He says all the right things-
"You just had a baby" (Kiwi is 7 months old)

"You look fine" (translation, "Hurry up and get in the car!")

"You're not that overweight..." (Ok, this one just makes me mad)

So to save my beloved from going to hell (Uncle Stan says liars go to hell) I am very seriously working on becoming healthy. I'm just saying that because all the people and programs tell me to not look at myself as a number on the scale, my goal should be health and living life to the fullest. Yeah, yeah, I want all that but I also want to be a smaller number on the scale. I am not brave enough to post my actual weight, but I will say that my goal is to lose 37 lbs. That probably sounds like too much for me but it's not. That's how much weight I've gained since I got married. That will put me back at a weight I am comfortable being nekked in. I'm walking everyday at least 1 mile, but almost always 3 miles. Could use a walking buddy, Kiwi doesn't talk much, the dogs get distracted easily and tear after squirrels and Hoss won't go with me. Oh that reminds me- I love my husband dearly, but he also needs to get healthy. He doesn't seem to believe this. He has a very positive image of himself or he is living in the land of denial. He thinks I am just being critical. I have a natural tendancy to do that so he's not too far off base. But I've seen the number on his scale and it's way too high. I know, I know, he's a big & tall man, blah, blah , blah. I watch him salt his salad, his fruit, his fries. He has a family to stick around for. He needs to eat healthier and since I do most of the cooking, he really has no choice, at least when he is home. So check back, I'm going to post our progress. I'm making it a contest. We have a certain amount of $ that has been given to us recently and we can't agree how to spend it. Hoss wants a shed, I want a bathtub in our master bath. Whoever is the Biggest Loser will get to decide how to spend it. Go team Monkey!

Bittersweet with a glass of milk

2007-12-16T16:01:00.001-05:00

We spent a day in Colorado Springs with John's sister for his familys' annual cookie baking event. It was fun and it sucked. It was nice to see everyone, well everyone that showed up anyway. His sister was a cookie baking machine. She made over 400 buckeyes. The idea is to bake tons of cookies and then every family leaves with a selection of all that was baked. And everyone gets to visit and catch up and hang out. All the kids got along amazingly well. No big fights and absolutely no bloodshed. Then on the other hand it sucked because I cried myself to sleep Saturday night. I missed Dad so much. This Christmas sucks, and that sucks because Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love everything about it. Usually. Not this year. I didn't send out any cards, didn't want to decorate but did of course because the kids couldn't wait any longer. I am just one big giant bah humbug this year. I feel like everyone is walking around just living their normal life and not knowing how much we are missing our dad and our first Christmas without him. I feel like they should all know what is gone. Even people that didn't know him. I feel like just sleeping until it is all over. Don't try to talk me out of it either, because I'm very grumpy if I'm woken up and I may bite!

Missing dad

2007-11-22T16:00:00.001-05:00

Is it possible to backslide in the grief process? I was frozen when Dad first died and have eventually gotten better with living life again. But lately I feel like I'm back on that July day when he died. I dream about him, I miss him. I am so happy that we are having a baby, but then I think about it and I am so sad. Dad was such a great grandpa and he will not know this baby. Or this baby will not know him and that's just wrong. Today was Thanksgiving. I did fine most of the day, I think we all did. The kids and I went to my in-laws. It was nice seeing everyone. John showed up for dinner before he had to leave for work so that was nice. It wasn't until I got home that I got really sad because dad wasn't here. We're sad most of the time because he isn't here, but I guess holidays will really compound that sadness. Every other day is busy filled with everyday life that has to get done. The day was mostly ok it's just our new normal I guess. We all have to adjust to not seeing him at the table or in the kitchen making guacamole. I miss him a lot today. I can't imagine how mom is feeling. She of course won't say it, but I can hear her cry at night sometimes and it is the most heartbreaking sound. It's the kind of cry I hadn't heard before Dad died. It was the first holiday without him, I'm not sure how we will get through Christmas. I keep seeing that gross disgusting summer sausage and cheese sets when I'm out shopping. I cried in Costco the other day because I was staring at freakin summer sausage! At least now, passersby will just think I am some crazy pregnant lady with too many hormones running through her. Maybe I will buy him one. I always bought Dad one for Christmas.

snow, snow, snow, snow

2007-11-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Whoohooo, it snowed! That makes me so happy. Although it has been nice still being able to wear capris and short sleeve shirts. The kids don't have school today and I'm determined to finish getting the house put together before they go back on Monday. Most everything is done, except there aren't pictures hung and one room still needs the trim painted. Other than that it's very liveable. I'm watching the kids play outside. They are all bundled in every piece of winter attire they own, and are acting as if we got a blizzard! Really quite sad actually. Maybe I'll get a good picture for this years Christmas card though. I refuse to be in it, someone may bust out a harpoon! I told Hoss the only way he'd get me in this years photo is if he photoshops me in and considering he asks for help everytime he checks his email, I don't think that is going to happen.

Dude, it wasn't me, it was the baby

2007-11-16T15:59:00.000-05:00

I promise all my blogs will not be about me being pregnant. I feel waaay out of practice when it comes to doing this. I know pregnancy isn't something you practice necessarily but considering E is almost 8, some of this stuff happening to me feels completely new and weird! The Shisler baby appears to be a vegetarian. I can't stand the smell or taste of most meat right now. It tastes fine going down but not so good about 10 minutes later. Hopefully that is only temporary insanity. And I've not had any morning sickness yet. That is quite the change from my other experiences. I was so sick with E that I lost 14 pounds early on. Is that a good sign? Shouldn't all pregnancies have some morning sickness? Or does the aversion to meat count as mine? I'm already wearing maternity jeans. I'm only 7 weeks along but the zippers weren't working anymore! I've managed to get away with just buying bigger shirts and tops, most shirts these days are baggy and 'flowing' anyway. I'm sure it has something to do with the weight gain from losing my thyroid, but still- I feel and look ( according to some) like I'm 5 months pregnant! I will NOT be complaining about the bigger boobs! Those make me feel 18 again. Plus it's cheap entertainment for my husband so that's always nice.

Simba the lion king

2007-11-08T15:59:00.000-05:00

Dearest baby Shisler, we can't wait to meet you. Baby Shisler is due on July 14, 2008. July 14th. The day dad died. It makes me incrediby happy and incredibly sad. My mom thinks it is the perfect day to have a baby. It will make the anniversary easier to deal with. I disagree. I think. Wouldn't I always be sad on that day? This poor baby will have a complex! Mom- why are you always so sad on my birthday? Don't you love me?! Yeah, I can see it now. Therapy is too expensive, so wouldn't it be better just to have another birthday?
John says it makes sense. He says so many things happen that way. The circle of life or something like that. I think he saw the Lion King one too many times. When something ends, something always shows us the new beginning. A very close friend of John's got a long awaited kidney transplant the day before dad died. A new beginning. Good friends of mine had a baby on the same day. A new beginning. We are due to have a baby. A new beginning. I guess I see his point. Then again I just don't like it. I'm the mama, and if it's up to me I'll just hold her in until the 15! Or I'll go 4 wheeling on the 13th! I'll figure something out by then. In the meantime, the kids are super excited. Almost as excited as John. Have you ever seen a 6'7" man do a cartwheel? He is over the moon. Maybe a little too far gone actually. He said maybe I shouldn't go into work because I tend to get stressed out while I'm there. Soon, he'll be saying I shouldn't bother making dinner, or doing laundry or breathing in and out! OK, I'm exagerating, but not by much. He is totally enjoying this and I could get really spoiled during this incubation period! Stace & Lin say I should go with it. After all, it is a new experience for me too. Actually planning a pregnancy and for once being thrilled with the news. We've got a date for the adoption also. If anyone told me 3 years ago this would be my life today, I'd have thought you were completely insane!!

Grief letter

2007-09-16T15:58:00.002-04:00

Lin sent this copy from a grief book she is reading. I think it would be helpful for all of us to make copies and put them somewhere. I am going to make copies to hang at work, home, car, and most importantly my forehead. Thanx Lin!

Dear : Insert appropriate title here

Recently I have suffered the devastating loss of my father. I am grieving and it will take months and even years to recover from this loss.
I want to let you know that I will cry from time to time. I don't apologize for my tears since they are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. They are God's gift to me to express the extent of my loss, and they are also a sign that I am recovering.
At times you may see me angry for no apparent reason. Sometimes I'm not sure why. All I know is that my emotions are intense because of my grief. If I don't always make sense to you, please be forgiving and patient with me. And if I repeat myself again and again, please accept this is normal.
More than anything else, I need your understanding and your presence. You don't always have to know what to say or even say anything if you don't know how to respond. Your presence and a touch or hug lets me know you care. Please don't wait for me to call you since sometimes I am too tired or tearful to do so.
If I tend to withdraw from you, please don't let me do that. I need you to reach out to me for several months or even years.
Pray for me that I will come to see meaning in my loss someday and that I will know God's comfort and love. It does help to let me know that you are praying for me.
If you have experienced a similar type of loss, please feel free to share it with me. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. And don't stop sharing if I begin to cry. It's all right and any tears you express as we talk are all right too.
This loss is so painful, and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But I will survive and eventually recover. I cling to that knowledge, even though there are times I don't feel it. I know that I will not always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again someday.
Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for listening and praying. Your concern comforts me and is a gift for which I will always be thankful.

Sincerely,

Your name here

*Make as many copies as needed. Distribute accordingly, but if you are caught throwing them at someone you will be kicked out of group.

Suck Much

2007-09-16T15:57:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was absolute torture. Wasn't having the best day anyway, just thinking of Dad, and listening to Mom cry, and worrying about her interview and we lost the house, someone put in a full price offer so the sellers went with them of course. Damn, I really liked that house! Went to Saturday service at church and went completly downhill from there.Mom lost Dad's life insurance check, but eventually found it so she gave it to me for safekeeping. I had a hard time with it I guess because it's a freakin life insurance check. Everyone of course would rather not have a single penny and have Dad here instead. That healthy thinking is getting us nowhere. The message at church was about God being your best friend and a few people shared about trials, experiences, life altering moments that brought them to God and of course the very first story was a guy that lost his dad when he was 25ish and how pissed off he was at God and life and other people breathing. I cried all the way through the message. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I am not a pretty crier especially when I am trying to hide that I'm crying. There was snot flying! Hoss was at work so I didn't have anyone to hide behind. I was so drained by the time I left so of course I went shopping and spent too much money. My grieving process is really adding up. Not good. Then I ran into another parent from the kids' school & she invited herself to share that she lost her dad 13 years ago and was telling me that it really doesn't get easier and she still misses him and thinks about him all the time and and doesn't it suck, and would you like to volunteer at the book fair?! Awesome! Exactly what I was hoping to hear. This pain will never go away and I can count on feeling this way for years to come. Sweet! I never liked her anyway, I hope she trips and falls on the way back to her van down by the river. I had no energy to do anything when I got home so my children and very hard working husband had cereal for dinner and I had ice cream and a pepsi. I expect the award for wife/mom of the year to be arriving any moment. The day was a shitfest.

Heartache and Hope

2007-09-12T15:56:00.000-04:00

I've known Sid for 13 years yet I am still suprised and hurt by his decision. He contacted our lawyer and signed the paper to give up his kids voluntarily. I cried and cried when I was told. I know he hasn't had contact with them in almost 2 years. And the only reason he saw them 2 years ago was because Ana broke her leg and I called him from the hospital. If it weren't for that phone call, he would be on more than 3 years with absolutely no contact. Not a phone call on birthdays or Christmas, never once asked about the kids when we faced each other in court every 3 months for his contempt charge. I wonder if he missed them, how often he thought about them. Did he ever think of them? I can't imagine their birthdays passing and the kids not even crossing his mind. What about on Father's Day, he had to have thought of them then. I can't think about going that long without hearing thier voices or seeing them grow up. Does he know what he is missing? I can't sleep thinking about what made him decide to sign the papers. Was it because he would owe no further child support? Did he really put a price on his children? Or maybe he actually thought because he hasn't given them love as a dad for years and years and knew he would never be able to so he signed because it was what was best for the kids? I pray and pray that he wasn't motivated by money. I get sick thinking about this. This is what we have prayed for and have wanted since we got married. John has wanted it since we got engaged. He wants to be thier dad in every way. The kids see him that way and he feels it, but still this is so important to him. And Sid just gave us his ok to go ahead with it. I was so expecting a fight from him. So why am I so sad? I am so incredibely happy that we can continue and get this done. I am so incredibly sad that he just signed them away without one word. I know, count my blessings right? Can't have your cake and eat it too? What am I going to tell Ana? The other 2 when they are older? Ana asks constantly about the adoption and how it's going and how much longer? She knows that we have filed the petition, she knows that we had to wait for Sid to respond. I can't tell her that he gave up. I just can't make myself do it. What would it do to her? Not right now while she is dealing with the death of her grandpa and just trying to live day to day with her raging preteen hormones. Or would it be best for her to know the truth? I've never lied to the kids about him. About why he doesn't see them and it's not about them, it's a fight with his sin and his choices in life. We still have to have a adoption hearing, and Sid will be advised of it has the opportunity to be there for that, but now I doubt he will want to be there. I wanted the kids to have a chance to say goodbye to him. To process every step of this. As their mom I think that would be best. On the flip side of that, maybe it wouldn't be good for them to see him in court, saying goodbye after so many years of not seeing him. That may be confusing to them. I know Akira would not understand. She would probably write a great song about it though. I thought maybe he would at least include a letter to the kids when he sent back the papers. To explain his decision. I was hoping for that closure myself. Now I don't know if we will ever get it. I loved this man once, shared my life with him. I still after everything everything everything, have that part of me that remembers the hopes and dreams he had for each of them when they were babies. Now, I will always remember the day he legally wrote off his children., but in every sense of the word, he wrote them off years ago. This is what is best for the kids, for their hearts, thier future, their relationships, their faith. Putting their trust in someone real, who is here and loves them and would do or give anything for them. Ana talks as if John has known her all her life, she talks about the future with him, John walking her down the aisle at her wedding, she teases him about how much he will miss her when she leaves for college, she thinks she is going to grow to be as tall as John. I can see it in her eyes when she talks about John and when she is with him, she knows John's love for her doesn't have conditions. She knows he is here to stay, but there is that tiny little doubt that lingers for her. She can't help it, she remembers the back and forth, on again off again times with Sid when she was little. The boyfriends I had after our divorce, that hurt her as much as me when things didn't work out. I take the blame for that.. But she is also smart enough to know that the broken promises and rejection from Sid since our divorce is his choice alone. This public expression of commitment from John is something she craves in her spirit. She understands this adoption is more than just a name change. It gives her hope and a feeling of complete acceptance. It gives me hope also, and since Dad died, I could use a lot more of that. I know this will fill the Sid shaped hole in Akira's heart, extingish fully any sense of abandonement Ana feels, and for E cement the knowledge that John is his forever Dad.

Adieu Ben & Jerry

2007-08-31T15:55:00.001-04:00

Well got the latest blood test back and...my thyroid is now normal! Yipee, yahoo! Well normal as it can be after they fried it and all. I should say the fake thyroid hormone I take everyday is now doing what I pay it to do and tricking my body into thinking it has a thyroid. Are you jumping up and down like I was? Do you know what this means? This means I will start to lose the 30 pounds I gained in 1 year. I still have to work to lose the weight but now I'm not fighting those evil little hormone demons that think it's funny when you eat a rice cake and gain 2 pounds. Now it will be just like any other 30 yr old housewife with a secret choco stash. It didn't help either marrying a man that sees me crying on the scale and says "Don't cry. You're still about 10 pounds underweight. Here, go buy some more clothes." That is the point in which something heavy was chucked at his head. And yes I did take the shopping money and yes I did buy more...shoes and the matching purse. At least if I ran into anybody I knew or an ex boyfriend or something I would have the cute accessories to distract from the weight gain. Although I'm pretty sure all my exes live out of state so I should be ok. That is my theory and nobody better blow it for me! Anyway- so I joined a dance class and my sister is going to sign up with me... This should be an adventure considering I haven't danced since I was 17 when life took over. Dancing at a club doesn't count because the many alcohol drinks consumed cancel out all the aerobic activity. I got so desperate at one point I looked up how many calories were burned during sex and that motivated me somewhat. Hee hee. (Chels if you're reading this, when you come back from throwing up, I want my shorts back because soon I will fit into them again.). Ahh, I can't wait till next summer. Maybe by then I can wear a swimsuit without fear of being harpooned.

Bored

2007-08-30T15:55:00.001-04:00

you.can.only.type.one.word.not as easy as u may think

1. Where is your cell phone?charger

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?past

3. Your hair?thick

4. Work?ha

5. Your father?Michigan

6. Your favorite thing?massage

7. Your dream last night?recurring

8. Your favorite drink?cranberry

9. Your Dream guy/girl?Hoss

10. The room you're in?quiet

11. Your pet?expensive

12. Your fears?childish

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?healthy

14. Where did you hang out fri night?bedroom

15. What you're not good at?sewing

16. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex?funny

17. One of your wish list items?garage

18. Where you grew up?colorado

19. The last thing you did?pee'd

20. What are you wearing?pj's

21. What aren't you wearing?makeup

22. The website?online

23. Your computer?dinosaur

24. Your life?standstill

25. Your mood?sad

26. Missing?Dad

27. What are you thinking about right now?dad

28. Your car?fast

29. Your work?rewarding

30. Your summer?nightmare

31. Your relationship status?honest

32. Your favorite color?purple

33. When is the last time you laughed?yesterday

34. Last time you cried?scale

35. School?crowded

Men are waffles, women are spaghetti

2007-08-25T15:54:00.001-04:00

So we're at the cemetery tonight and I wanted to show John the kind of marker that mom is going to buy dad so we go walking. Did I mention it was dark out? Apparently somebody is getting buried tomorrow near dad's grave because all of a sudden John grabs Akira practically throwing her on the ground. I'm wondering what i.t.h. is he doing? There is an empty grave that has already been dug out and the only thing covering it is a piece of plywood and Akira was about to step right on it. Can you imagine how horrible that would be? She would have been completly traumatized! Gave me the creeps. Perhaps that is why you should really only visit the cemetery during daylight hours. John was worried that we were trespassing because the sign says trespassing if on property after 7pm, and I say they must not be that worried about it because they leave the gates open. Am I right? Oh, and I think the trip to Michigan might have done me some good, I'm functioning much better, sleeping longer and actually feel a little bit of healing when I visit Dad, instead of feeling depressed and wanting to crawl into a hole. I went to church tonight for the first time since dad died, excluding for his service. Didn't go to FCC, for some reason don't want to be in the place where I said goodbye to dad. I know that doesn't make much sense but it is just feels wrong. And of course the message was on marriage and differences between men and women and blah blah blah. Everything that I had experienced this past week w/ John and everything that I had felt was discussed. I'm pretty sure he slipped the pastor a note beforehand because it felt like there was a giant spotlight on me the entire time. Although John says he felt the same way so who knows? The mood in the house hasn't been helped by the fact that John is now on his 3rd day without any chew and I am pms-ing. A recipe for disaster. What is it with guys that chew? I think it is so disgusting yet I still marry guys who do it. He thinks he is doing quite well without it, I think he is a raging lunatic!The hole is still pretty inviting though.

Praise God!

2007-08-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

Yahoooo! Kids are back in school, kids are back in school, kids are back in school!! Does that make me a bad parent that I am so excited that kids are back in school? Loved having the summer off with the kids (I think I worked about 40 hours all summer) but enough already! I'm pretty sure since about June 5th or so, the kids have been having a contest called "who can bicker the most and make mom and dad yell the loudest?!" Suddennly Ana is now convinced that her brother and sister were simply put on this earth to annoy her. She has much better things to do than be bothered now that she is a 6th grader! I love the girl more than anything but if she rolls her eyes at me or them one more time, I may have to kill her. Last year I could barely get her to brush her hair, now she is waking up 30 minutes earlier to 'style' it. Help.
First day back was today. The kids got to meet their teachers last night and unload their enormous bag of school supplies. Ana swears the has the meanest teacher in school, 'he is soooo strict mom, he never even smiles!" Akira is upset that her bff's are not at her table, and E is already surrounded by giggling girls. They better watch out for mama! I'd hate to have to open a can of whoop ass on those 7 year olds.

Boo Hoo

2007-08-17T15:51:00.002-04:00

Boo Hoo,
So totally spur of the moment, the kids and I decided to drive to Michigan. Was packed and ready to go within an hour. So we picked up my sister and her kids and left. I just had to see my dad. And my grandma. Didn't really think about it until we were in Kearney Nebraska. This spur of the moment decision appears to have pissed off Hoss'crew. I know I did disrupt their routine by taking their wheels and making them all squish into my Grand Pixie but they did make it to the rig right? Perhaps I should show them the paperwork that shows MY name on the friggin car loan. Go fix your own vehicles, get your license back, and drive your own ass to the rig every hitch. Hoss says they will cool off. I guess I'm not fully understanding what they are so hot about? They don't seem to realize that Hoss' lifestyle has changed just a wee bit. He has always considered his friends his family, but now he has a different type of family to take care of. Yes, I 'm aware that you have so many memories with him, he is your boss, he is your brother, he is your friend, he is your drinking/smoking/party buddy but he is now my husband and a dad, a really great dad. There was no gun to his head when he decided to get married. There was no voodoo hex performed on him. According to him, he woke up one day, realized 'Holy Crap, I'm a grown up' and went down a different road. A road that led to me, thank God. To me. A chick with 3 kids (gasp!!) 3 kids who he has known for 6 years. 3 kids he would give his life for. 3 kids that worship him (and sometimes forget I am even in the room when he is around). When we first started dating (for the 3rd time) I sometimes wondered if he was dating me for me or for my kids. Oh- Grandma just showed up with fresh, homemade tortillas, gotta go! I'll just sum things up here...Boo Hoo, get over it!!!

Not quite sure...

2007-08-14T15:51:00.000-04:00

I have to go back to work tomorrow. I haven't worked since Dad died. Well, that's not true, I went back the week after and was sent home. It's been a month now and I am actually managing to get a shower before noon these days. I visit his grave too much I think because every time I go there I think it will make me feel better but I end up being so depressed I can barely make it home. It just looks so real. Fresh dirt, all the flowers from the service are dead. It's been a month, so should I be worried that time seems to have stopped? I get so mad looking at people living their lives. Don't they know what is missing? Don't they notice he's not here? How can complete strangers keep on living life as if nothing happened? I know he is gone, but I catch myself thinking that he will walk into the room at any moment. It's been a month and I am so pissed that he is gone. He was too young, we are too young, the kids are too young. He should be here to see everything that hasn't happened yet. And then I think of everything that hasn't happened yet and I cry. How can Hoss and I have a baby that Dad will never know? Will never know Grandpa? The kids' adoption party, he should be there. I wonder when life gets back to normal? 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 5 years? Will it ever be 'normal' again? Because normal is Dad here to make corny jokes and laugh that laugh and play solitaire till dawn. It feels like I'm searching for something that I don't even know is missing but know I need to find it. Does that make any sense to anyone? Doesn't really make sense to me either. As twisted as it is, knowing that my sisters are all feeling about the same actually helps. Makes me not so worried that it's been a month and I still find myself getting in the car, driving somewhere, and then once I get there, not really remembering driving there. Makes me not so worried that I keep serving burnt dinners because I start crying half way through cooking it and by time I recover, dinner is ruined. Makes me not so worried that I still wish he would hurry home from vacation or wherever he is. He can't really be gone forever, it just can't be...

Going to the Chapel

2006-03-07T19:46:00.000-05:00

Well, it's happenened. Hell hath frozen over. I'm getting married. Wait just one minute...did I just agree to marry somebody? Does this mean I have to shave my legs more often? Do I have to share my hard earned money ? Do I have to let someone else in on my NASCAR Sundays? Do I have to take his feelings into consideration before purchasing the giant purple daisy bedspread? I think I might be sick...

My Student Council Star

2006-01-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

Anakin got voted into Student Council! She is so proud. She ran last year but didn't get enough votes. She was of course, disappointed, but tried again. She was walking around the house practicing her speech for days. I think I could have rehearsed it by memory after about the 3rd day. I am so proud. She thinks it's cool that she started student council in the same grade that I was in. She has quite the social calendar already. She is in basketball 3 mornings a week, and student council meetings every Tuesday, and she is in the yearbook club one day a week after school. Akira also keeps herself busy at school. There have been a few notes sent home about her talking in class. When I ask her about it this has been her reply: "But Mommy, my friends and I don't have enough time to talk to each other!" Any ideas? This is going to come as quite a shock to some of you...she is in Art and Drama Club!!! Who'd ever guess?! Only anyone who has known her for at least 20 seconds! My dad has been warning me about her since she was about 3 months old. She got a guitar for Christmas and is absolutely loving it. Most days she can be found on our front porch with her piggy bank next to her, trying to earn tips! Seriously.

Elijah Bleu

2006-01-28T22:20:00.000-05:00

6! My baby is 6. I feel as if he is leaving for college! If I close my eyes for just a tad too long, he will be gone. On the other hand, he still thinks he's going to marry his mommy when he grows up, so maybe I have a little more time. We didn't really have a party. I didn't feel like I had the energy to pull it off. Eli invited one friend, Ben, and we went to McDonald's. This was a bigger treat than it sounds, because usually if we go to McD's its only the drive thru and only the dollar menu. All the kids got Happy Meals and we sat inside and played for about two hours. The kids had fun, I left with a headache- signs of a good party! Mom flew into town that weekend so that was nice. Ben also had a birthday that weekend so we went to his party at Casa Bonita. It was the same day as the Bronco playoff game, so that was really fun, watching people steal glances at their watches. Had to get home in time for the game!!! If you ask Eli how old he is now, he will tell you "I'm almost 7!"

Happy New Year

2006-01-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

I almost forgot to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I hope everyone had fun and was safe. After 5 years, Hoss and I actually got to ring in the New Year together for once. It was fun. I'm ready to take 2006 by the horns and wrestle this baby to the ground. Have set some goals, nothing with too high of expectations. I've already given up all my vices, so there isn't too much left. Unless of course anyone has some ideas, feel free to not weigh in. Here is the list:

1. This year I will read 5 more books then I did last year.
2. I will let down my guard, well maybe just lower it a little.
3. I will put laundry away as it is finished, no more digging through baskets.
4. I will take serious steps towards owning, not renting.
5. I will not go over my cell phone minutes.
6. I will be a better friend, no more hermit-ism.
7. I will continue to pray for my Dad's salvation.
8. I will volunteer less.
9. I will take a vacation.
10. I will get my Christmas cards out on time.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!

Graves Disease

2006-01-05T12:01:00.001-05:00

Well, all the test results are in and my vampire doctor has had enough. I've been told I have Graves Disease. This is not a life-threatening disease, unless it goes untreated. This affects about 1% of the population, mostly women in childbearing years. The shoe fits. I have been studying Graves disease, and I've got to be honest, I'm a little relieved. It's nice to know I haven't been going crazy for the past few years. All the signs and symptoms are like reading a story of my life. I am on some new medication that is "helping" the symptoms. It makes me very nauseous. Imagine morning sickness x 10! So if you see me walking around with a bag of Saltines, don't worry. This is the 2nd auto-immune disease I've been diagnosed with in 2 years, so I am now seeing an Endocronologist. Also have learned how to take my own blood pressure, and I take my temp daily (orally of course). I have been taking 10 pills everyday, this is to prep my body for a Radioactive Iodine treatment that will basically kill off my thyroid and then I will be on Thyroid medicine for the rest of my life. I would like to investigate this procedure further before I consent to it. My new Dr would like to have this done within the next 6 weeks. So just thought I'd send an update. All is well on the homefront, the kids are getting real good at making their own dinner. Just kidding, kinda. Love and kisses to everyone.

Ashes of my ex-husband

2006-01-04T15:46:00.000-05:00

I absolutely can't stand it when I get mail at my house addressed to my ex! A small thing I know, but still, it bugs me. That man has never lived here. This is MY home that I have made since my life with him ended. These stinkin companies that throw all this bulk junk mail into any old mailbox, they need to stop sending it to mine. Hey, send me all the junk mail you want, I've invested in a shredder- but it better be addressed to me, me, me. Nothing pisses me off more than the very thought of that man. As Hoss tells me 'Better to be pissed off then pissed on'. I've been told it's because I haven't forgiven him. Not so. I just can't stand when the bad guy wins. Stupidity should be painful, if you ask me.

Student of the Week

2005-12-20T13:46:00.000-05:00

Anakin is student of the week in her class. She gets lots of special privileges at school. She took a collage of pictures of herself to show at school. It was fun looking at all the pictures with her and reminiscing. She was such a tiny baby and looked like she would never make it. Sometimes I look at her and she looks so small then with another glance she looks so mature and grown up.
She has a report on Mexico due on Friday, she is working hard and enjoying studying where our family came from. She and I are going to attempt to make my Grandma's tortillas. They don't turn out very well here, Grandma says its the altitude, yeah, we'll go with that.

Ah, the Power of Google

2005-12-18T04:51:00.000-05:00

Fresh from a Google search: The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland you can feel at the base of your neck, just below your Adam's apple. Two lobes (the "wings" of the butterfly) fit on either side of your windpipe. Impairment of thyroid function affects about 2% of adult women and about 0.1% to 0.2% of adult men in North America.
These are just some of the many symptoms I found -
-decreased interest in daily activities
-concentration difficulties
-sleep disturbances
-reduced sexual interest.
Aha! Perhaps this is the explanation about why I have had insomnia for 4 years now. Damn you, thyroid!

The Not So Gentle reminders

2005-12-18T04:03:00.000-05:00

I received a phone call Saturday morning from Texas. The second I saw the # on my caller ID, I knew something was wrong, otherwise they wouldn't be calling me. My sister's ex-husband was killed in a car accident. He was out Christmas shopping for his kids, (my niece and nephew) and apparently was going too fast for the icy road conditions. He ran into a phone pole and was killed instantly. His aunt called me and told me the news and asked that I be the one to tell my sister. I've never had to do something like this before, especially not from 1500 miles away. Stacey is the strongest person I know. She takes whatever S!*% comes and does what needs to be done. She is the strong one, not me. That was absolutely the hardest phone call I've ever had to place. And just like I thought, she heard the news and was ready to deal. She was only worried about how to tell her 2 kids. Kelen is 5 and Nevaeh is 3. Kelen took it pretty hard, and V (I call her V) doesn't understand. She is too young. I don't understand this stuff. Somebody please explain. Robert was so young, and just beginning to turn his life around. He had become sober and just got a new job and a new house, Stacey was getting child support on a regular basis. He had a conversation with his Aunt recently and was so proud that this was the first Christmas he "was gonna do right for his kids." Why is he gone? I know it's not a given that we understand Gods timing or reasoning, but COME ON! You've got to be kidding, what sense does this make? I'm at such a loss. The only thing that seems to come of all this is the reminder to be thankful, so thankful for my health and life, and the health and joy of my children and to love on the people in my life that mean so much to me.

Kaiser P- My hero

2005-12-16T04:12:00.000-05:00

I have health insurance, I have health insurance! I feel like singing that from the rooftop. I haven't had coverage since E was born and it feels so good. Apparently it came at just the right time. I had some blood work done and some of the lab results came back not exactly picture perfect. A couple of #'s were lower than should be. I've gone in 3 different times now to give blood and quite frankly I feel like I don't have any more blood to give- I suspect my doctor is some type of undercover vampire. So I'm being sent to the Radiology department next week to have an MRI done on my thyroid. What exactly is a thyroid and is this what my vampire doctor is trying to get at? But- I can strut right into that Radiology dept and whip out that pretty little insurance card. I love my job that gives me health insurance. I love that I am overall healthy, and I love that I can Google "Thyroid" and get the answers I am looking for.

Akira's Birthday

2005-12-14T16:25:00.000-05:00

I can't believe Akira is 7 years old already! You blink and time is gone. We had a party at home. We made sundaes and played karaoke. Too many little girls spent the night. I slept downstairs on the couch and well past 1 a.m. I could hear little giggles from upstairs. Boy was I tired the next day, we all were actually. It's always so neat to see my kids interacting with their friends. All of my kids are definitely leaders not followers. Now gotta prepare for E's party. At least he is too young for a sleepover!

I miss my Dad and Sissy

2005-12-12T13:54:00.000-05:00

My dad is recovering great! I miss him tremendously. I'm still mad that I couldn't move out there, but it seems like it has worked out for the best, considering he is improving faster then anyone expected. His physical therapist says he is a star pupil. I wonder what it would be like if he lived here. The only thing I think would be weird is holidays. But it would probably be no different than when I was married and had to split holidays between his family and mine. It wasn't so bad. Stacey seems to be doing good out there, and Kelen really likes his school. I miss her too. I hope she comes back after Dad is 100% again. Dad will celebrate his 53rd birthday this Friday. What an old man!

Teenage drivers

2005-11-26T03:23:00.000-05:00

I fell asleep watching movies at my parents house the other night. The kids were all crashed, so I figured it was easier to just stay the night than to load all the sleeping banshees into the car. My eyes felt like sandpaper so I had to go home to get my contact lens case and stuff. Chelsey has her drivers permit so she drove. She has had it for a while now, but has just recently started driving with me. Am I that old? Please, don't answer that. I remember her just being born yesterday. A little frightening. She does really well, but it tends to bring out the control freak in me. I imagine it comes out in anyone riding as passenger with a teenager. Gotta love the airbrake! We've only had one slightly scary, life flashing before my eyes incident. I remember my mom teaching me to drive. After one lesson we both raced into the house only to shout in unison "I'll never drive with her again!" Dad did the remainder of driving lessons. I better have a significant other by time my kids are driving age, I don't think I can handle it alone. They are great backseat drivers already, imagine them with a permit. More gray hairs - fun!

Thanksgiving 2005

2005-11-25T03:57:00.000-05:00

Well, my plan for Thanksgiving didn't quite work out. I just wanted to stay in my p.j.'s, not shower, and watch some movies, maybe put up Christmas decorations. Heather and Angie invited me down to the Springs to celebrate with their family. Not really in the mood for other people lately, you know? I'm fast on my way to becoming a hermit. I love that family a lot, but it gets complicated. I didn't want to drive down there only to get the hairy eyeball from Hoss. One of these days he and I will finally work things out. But he has to be speaking to me for that to happen :) We ended up going to Mom and Dad's about 6:30. Had a nice time. Aunt Lin was there, yea!. We played Cranium and surprising my team lost. Hard. Very disappointing. So, I'm not that good at charades. Simone was there with her fiance and future brother-in-law, got to hear a little about their upcoming wedding. Dad seemed very happy to have her there, and hey- there was no bloodshed between anyone! Everyone gave 2 things we were each Thankful for. Anakin was thankful for Jesus and the Bible, Akira was thankful for her Mommy and her Daddy, and E was thankful for outer space and Emily. We watched Christmas with the Kranks, everybody laughed hysterically. I thought it was cute, but certainly not going to watch it again. My favorite holiday movie is Home for the Holidays. Really gets me prepped for the season. Can't wait to put up my Christmas lights. Going to put some outside this year. The kids want all blue, I'm not so sure about that. Much rather stick with plain old white lights. They are my favorite. They look just like twinkling stars, especially when they are covered in snow. I love staying up late, just looking at those lights. So peaceful.

A Bakers' Dozen

2005-11-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

Heather invited me to a cookie exchange. My first one, I've finally arrived. It does make me wonder though...Does she know me at all? I can't bake. I CAN'T BAKE. I have to bake 5 dozen cookies and take 20 copies of the recipe with me to this event. After a frantic phone call to Stacey,(and the explanation of the difference between Cream of Tartar and Tartar Sauce) I've got the confidence to do this. Just the girls and I are going so I let E help me with the baking tonight. He doesn't understand why it's a girls only get-together. I don't understand either. All the men in our lives will help eat the cookies, why shouldn't they help exchange the cookies? I'm supposed to share why I chose this special recipe. Should I say I chose it simply because I had all the ingredients already in my cupboards? Great, my first exchange and I'm going to be kicked out. Can't wait to see how this turns out.

The Concert Event of the Year

2005-11-18T01:36:00.000-05:00

All day last Saturday, Anakin shamelessly begged me to call our local radio station to win Clay Aiken tickets. As I was dialing the phone # to the radio station, I had a feeling we were going to win. We won. Ana couldn't sleep the night before, she was so excited. Except for getting stranded downtown after the show, we had a lot of fun together. She's a cool little girl. It was definitely an experience. We didn't get home until 2 a.m., but she got up for school the next morning. We got to go backstage afterwards for autographs and pictures with him. I said to Anakin "It's our turn, lets take our picture with him." She said right back to me, without even blinking- "No Mom, I'll just have my own picture with him" Hmmm...